Marriage Counseling Exercises | Must Read It Can Save Your Marriage.
Why would a loving couple ever have to fight?, why marriage counseling exercise? This questions roll through my mind on the altar with all my teeth giggling in smiles. But deep down I knew that fight is inevitable, it just has to happen at one stage or the other.
Trust me it did happen, the giggling teeth, clippers for a fight, unnecessary issues rose from different angles from my mind no and one to talk to. The frontal mental is overloaded, jumping to every opportunity to start an argument is so easy.
Love is great, makes relationships seems like paradise but since we remain human some differences between a couple are inevitable but they might seem opaque at first. Trust me, they become apparent after a while in the relationship. Its human nature to pay more respect to a small worship from passers-by while ignoring the plethora of genuine services from a partner.
I'm not a relationship expert but I can tell you what works for me when partners become blind in complacence and move the ship of relationship in a different direction.
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It takes a while to reach the mental clarity to achieve the satisfaction you wanted from your partner. Are you in any emotional problem, yours seems to be falling apart already or maybe yours seems so perfect that you can't see the possibility of a failed marriage?
In this article, I will share 10 marriage counseling exercises you can start today.
1. Allow your partner to blow out what in his or her mind.
The mind might seem to be a great abyss, powerful enough to hold millions to billions of thoughts but it does get restless when it negative.
You need to pay attention to what you are trying to hold in, there is extends to which different people can hold down their anger, it dangerous to hold it all in when it unforgettable.
Allow your partner to blow off, like really let them do it there's no reason to ask them to speak gently, allow them to do this in the most convenient method for them.
Don't interrupt in any form possible even if they are wrong about the issue just allow him or her to let it out. The important part of this exercise is to let it out. show concerns with your uninterrupted listening.
As good as this blowing out your mind is, it can be dangerous too, if not implemented with cautions. Never blow up also at the same instance with your partner, even if your partner reaches a point you're sure he or she is wrong about.
For this to work one as to listen while the other does the talking. If you're sure talking about the issue will trigger endless arguments and listening seems impossible. Then invite a respected third party with more experience than you both.
Please be fussy with who you trust or better still just see your councilor because the third party might be funny at times. They might make the situation worst or gossip about your problem behind your back and spread unnecessary rumors that may come back to hinder your happy relationship.
2. Play the game of truth.
The game is just so good and every game aims to win but we don't always win. In this game, you aim to discover the unknown truth that might be inhibiting your relationship no matter how small it may be.
It too easy to ignore or overlook several aspects of your relationship and never realize how much your partner has been sacrificing for you for a very long time without showing a single appreciation towards it. The session will help you break the ice and realize and make changes as possible.
It is easier to sacrifice for someone when you realize several other ways and miles they have been going for you.
3. Identify what your partners want from a relationship and what you want.
There are spates of reasons for falling in love, there are a lot more than that to sustain the relationship together for a long time. Ignoring, grudging, unconcern to our partner's desire, and self-center to oneself is too easy to fall into because our personal goals and achievement seem like a big achievement for the two in the relationship.
This might push and keep us in the belief that that's all our partner want. Just wake up, he or she has personal significant goals of there own which might seems irrelevant to you.
But ultimate attention is necessary towards this, for the relationship to grow and prosper. As you grow and satisfy your wants, ensure your partner's goals too are coming to life. It okay to satisfy some goals for your relationship but don't make him or her sacrifice everything for you.
4. Identify how beneficial your partner has been.
After a long time of unresolved issues, It normal to be blind with the negatives sides of your partners. If what you could only see is the negatives sides of them, trust me that's anger, continues curbing of lots of unforgivable issues they buried our partner positive box into total darkness that even their shadow can't be seen.
When smiles, ideas, and gestures from partners look stupid then speaking your mind out is necessary but before you do, have an unbiased list of your partner's positive traits. Please list as many as you can.
Traits as small as that his or her smile. You need this to back up yourself before you blow up. They set the clarity and make you less tense and solving the problem easier.
5. Accept where you're wrong.
Say sorry, apologize to your partner accept all your wrongly doing even when they seem right to you. It seems wrong to him or her doesn't make it bad but you need to see things from his or her angle.
You might practice role change, in this each partner act exactly the way the other usually acted at every instance you hated so much. when you do this, it makes it easier to accept and revitalize the relationship.
Accepting your wrongs doings is great but not mindful of it next time just make the time spent solving it useless. This could spur your partner to give up on you.
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6. Show you care and say Thank you.
This is the sentence I have been directly and indirectly trying to say with every word. I don't care about the language your partners believed to be thank you. You need to show it and say it to foster your love and nourish your relationship. Not even couples alone needs to learn this but everybody.
it easier to ignore all efforts of your partner to foster the relationship because it like their duty but do you realize they are not accepting any direct payment. But every human being like payback, so do the thanks with your mouth and with gesture they would understand.
Don't only do this when there's a very obvious reason to do it, appreciate a smile, please.
7. Exchange books, games, magazines.
Who doesn't like to know what their partners think and how their mind runs. Let me tell you a secret to how to have a glimpse at this. Read their books, magazines and play games especially the ones they love so much.
These are just pieces of stuff that make up the person you love so much, doing this can help you know your relationship partner more and share a lot of similar concepts.
Bring some of their hobbies to yours, this will promote your bond and makes you inseparable. Be mindful never to give up yourself just share some with him or her.
8. Have a date night.
Spare time if not every week at most every month, to reestablish the love again. No phone calls, no social media just you and your partners enjoying a cozy night together. Like a brand new lovers trying to get each other attentions.
Fight for his or her smile like you have never seen them for ones. Try out new places or use old places that holds a good memory. For the success of this ensure you take care of anything that may disturb your night.
9. Get close through Physical and Emotional connection.
The physical connection is so powerful and the strongest of all energy. Become romantically connected with your partner, kiss, hug, appreciate the look before anybody does. Make him or her feels good about their self.
Make sure you're connecting with your partner both physically and emotionally it doesn't have to be sex always. Treat them like that king or Queen, take their emotional issue like yours, and help them overcome it.
10. Leave it till the weekend.
Don't go to bed angry try to solve issues before morning but don't go about complaining about every ounce of your partner activity. It might be unpalatable when you realize all your partner is so good at is complaining.
It important to say it out when you don't like it, but at times it might be momentarily and be a stupid discussion to engage in after a while.
Try to see the issue on the ground over and over again to be sure it worth talking about. You angry? just calm down first before you discuss about it.
That's why you need to practice leaving small issues that may have provoke you and prompted anger for the weekend. Because this gives you time to see it clearer, to reassure you it worthy of discussion.
Don't write it down, anything you cannot remember during the weekend is not worthy of discussing.
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Things that could render the counseling exercise useless
1. Not speaking the truth and still holding on to them in our mind. You have to let it out during this exercise if you want success.
2. In patients. You need to calm yourself down, listen and focus on what your partner as to say, don't let your mind wonder away.
3. You want your partner to change overnight? No, it not possible in many cases, so you have to be ready to help them to become that better version you desire and show appreciation during the process.
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Conclusion
Ones we remain human, no matter what you do, issues are inevitable, being ready to solve it is necessary and have a good councilor, it not necessarily to be a professional one. It might be one ground pa or ground ma with successful married life.
Don't allow outsiders into your relationship, because you don't know what they are going through on their own.
Stop complaining to everybody, see councilors or ask a trusted friend with a happy relationship. He or she might not be in happy relationship, but ones they are the trusted ones; they will give you good advice or how they solving there's because there are no perfect relationship but you can make yours a good one.
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