Growing up being scared of social interaction led me to become what I am today. I often hesitate to approach and always fight the urge not to talk to anyone.
Nevertheless, connecting with people seems so hard. Thinking about what may have them thinking about me, am I interesting? Or am I weird? So sitting in silence was the best choice.
On the current time, being the person who i build for myself was not that encouraging. Some say I'm enthusiastic, some might say I'm just a lonely boy who sits in one place, a "loner" . Or some say I just don't care at my surroundings at all.
“You see things, and you understand. You’re a wallflower”
What does it mean to be a wallflower? Do I consider myself one? If so, why? I have my friends, barely. But I do have my friends, so why does it feel so lonely? I know they’re just there, but I know damn well that all I need is myself.
Despite saying "all my need is myself," it is a way of saying "I need help." Every ounce of laughter outside is the equivalent of a cry inside. I’ve thought of it: If I don’t express myself, how will they know how I feel? Isn’t it humourous to think of that, yet it’s true? But instead of expressing it, I tend to keep it.
It’s better this way, i know it will.
