Empire Recap - Season 2 Episode 4 Poor Yorick

Season 2 Episode 4 of Fox’s Empire had against brother against brother (again), Boo Boo Kitty getting whored out again, a prosecutor gone ballistic, a new unlikely investor balking at Cooke, Cookie going back to jail, and fools digging up graves.

Let’s get to it.

Prosecutor Roxanne Ford showed what kind of hots she has for Lucious. It ain’t the open legs type of hot. It’s the I’m gonna get this n****r* type of hot.

Ford goes hard in the paint in this episode unleashing the FBI on Luscious and anybody related to him.

The feds rip up Empire, then led by the determined Ford barge in on Lucious at home. Lucious gets out of the bed where he’s sleeping with someone and in the nude greets Ford. Ford glanced down for a second — hesitated, then proceeded to lead the Feds on a rip up of Lucious’ home.

Ford continues her raid spree over at Lyon Dynasty.

Ford keeps hinting that Uncle Vernon is going to nail Lucious for the murder of Bunky. Vernon is supposed to be dead — but if he isn’t Ford could have Lucious ass because Lucious did admit to Vernon he killed Bunkie.

Lucious and his shady always on tap lawyer Thirsty Rawlings conclude that finding Uncle Vernon dead or alive is the key to getting the Feds off of Lucious’ back. If they find him living then he gets dead. If they find him dead they call Ford’s bluff and she’s got nothing on Lucious.

Anika (aka Boo Boo Kitty) pops up offering to whore herself out (again) this time for Cookie (again). Again (See Episode 3 recap) I say — once you whore out on the cheap — you’ve set your wagering threshold. Once you’ve been screwed and booted by an arch nemesis you’ll be twice screwed and booted- by that arch nemesis, believe that.

Anika AKA Boo Boo Kitty Cat

Now this heah heifer got herself into Cookie’s husband’s mind, company, and pants, while Cookie was doing time for said husband in a hard penitentiary. Let me make this personal and make you all mad as hell. Ladies, you took a rap for your man and did time for that man. While you were inside said man took the money you got locked up behind and built a successful business. You get out and here is this pristine bougie heifer that’s playing Mom to your sons and wifey to said man. Now fast forward past the facts said heifer is dishonest, slept with your son, tried to sell your husband out, to this episode where she wants to once again partner with you.

What do you do?

You do what Cookie did. You use her ass. Cookie sent her packing first. But whores are stupid- rebuff them and they’ll come back. The second time in this episode that Boo Boo Kitty got in Cookie’s face Cookie told her to go sign a group if she wanted to get into Lyon Dynasty. Boo Boo was (again) off and running.

When you’re trying to work with your exe’s- ex — you’re pitiful and full out of options- don’t be that person.

After all of the raid drama, Lucious rallies the Empire troops at Club Leviticus and spins the raids as a positive thing that will give Empire street cred.

This is not the time when Lyons hide this is the time when Lyons roar.

In an effort to cool off the competition between Empire and his ex’s company Lyon Dynasty, Luscious tells everybody now is the time to stand as a family. When a snake wants to be social — something’s up.

Cookie goes to meet privately with Lucious to tell him Hakeem (Lyon Dynasty) has agreed to do a video shoot with his brother Jamal (Empire). Lucious feels the video shoot, that has a Black Panther tone to it, will send a message to Ford and the Feds that the Lyons are standing together against their pursuit of anything Lyon. Cookie reluctantly agrees to the shoot.

From this meeting I got two things I was looking for. 1) Cookie’s weak spot and, 2) my “Cookie’s line of the episode”.

We’ve seen people shade Cookie seven ways to Sunday and she never flinches. She always has a rhetorical punch that leaves the shade thrower on the ropes.

Lucious called her Grandma Moses and she lost it.

She told him if he called her Grandma again she was going to snatch his tongue out of his mouth. Which — promoted Lucious to say it again. It got Cookie so flustered she turned and walked out and landed my “Cookie line of the episode”.

While walking away she slaps her right butt cheek and says,

“Tell me a Grandma that has an ass like this”.

Only Cookie can slap her own ass in a way that gets me all riled up.

Now Lucious shows up at the shoot with Mimi Whiteman. Mimi is a billionaire venture capitalist that has allowed her to grow balls from her vajayjay. After betraying Cookie by putting money in Empire she’s flexing on Cookie and I’m wondering, WTH?

Well, before the video shoot gets underway Lucious tells Cookie Mimi owns twenty- percent of Empire. Lucious done went and let a white woman into Empire when last season he reprimanded son Dre for bringing a white woman into the family. Lucious is racist — he hates any color that’s not green. Green on paper with portraits of Presidents and one foundering Father on them that is.

The much-acclaimed video shoot gives us a great motivating song but fails at uniting the Lyon brothers. Hakeem’s jealousy over Jamal’s sky-rocketing career and Lucious’s calling Hakeem a “mama’s boy” sends Hakeem over the edge — the video shoot ends in a quick fight between the two brothers.

An artist rendering of Jamal as “artist supreme” is more than Hakeem can bear. Hakeem leaves saying he’s never coming back. He’ll be back trust me.

Cookie walks outside of the shoot to take a call and gets bombarded by the po-po.

“Cookie Lyons !”
“And?”
“You’re under arrest.”

I’ve got to give big ups to Lee Daniels and company for remembering Sandra Bland and many other Black women that met a questionable demise while incarcerated. As Cookie is about to be driven off in the police cruiser she utters,

“If I die in police custody, I did not commit suicide.”

Cookie goes to jail — courtesy of one Roxanne Ford. The rap is bullshit -failing to appear for something Cookies personal assistant did.

Roxanne visits Cookie in an interrogation room where she tells Cookie she wants her to flip and snitch on Lucious.

Prosecutor Roxanne Ford Interrogating Cookie

She reminds Cookie she’s on parole. Cookie tells her where she can take her request and throws pejorative shade toward Roxanne’s weave. Roxanne walks out leaving Cookie to entertain thoughts of her last time in lockup. The thought of time away from her sons causes Cookie to call Roxanne back into the cinder block and mirrored glass room.

Cookie plays Ford like she’s a ten-cent fiddle and Ford so eager to get Lucious never sees she’s been played.

Cookie doesn’t throw Lucious under the bus for killing Bunkie — but instead, concocts a story that suggests Bunkie and Lucious were arguing over the Apex Radio deal (they weren’t). Ford gulps the bait like a hungry bass in a barren lake.

Cookie is smart as hell. She needs Apex shut down to get her Lyon Dynasty artists airtime — she just made a move that would get the FCC to unwittingly do that while at the same time springing herself from the slammer. Cookie walked out of this one free again and removing Lucious’ stronghold on Apex.

Andrea, the eldest of the Lyon sons emerges crazier than ever in this episode. He confides in his wife, Rhonda that God has been speaking to him. He’s not quite sure what God is saying — but oh well this is Andrea.

He has been begging Lucious to let him back in Empire. On this episode, Andrea found the key that fits Lucious’ lock . Lucious needs to find Uncle Vernon and Andrea knows where Vernon is.

He hints this to Lucious in an intimate Father and Son encounter. Lucious tells Dre if he can make the Feds and the case go away he can have anything he wants.

Dre is off to the graveyard. Rhonda goes with him. How does he know that Vernon is in the graveyard? Because he put him there.

Fellas, if you have a woman willing to dig up graves with you- she’s a keeper — for the long haul.

Now Dre and Rhonda (who’s sanity I question after this graveyard craziness) go into this graveyard and start digging up graves to find Vernon. These fools have dug up all kind of folks when these car headlights appear out of the graveyard night. Scares the shit out of Dre, Rhonda, and me.

The car stops and out steps Lucious and his lawyer Thirsty Rawlings. WTF?

Yeah, after Dre eagerly left the intimate Father and Son moment with Lucious Thirsty Rawlings was summoned by Lucious to put a GPS tracking device on any vehicle Dre had access to. Rawlings obliged and one of those vehicles led Lucious and the diverse in the dirty Rawlings to the graveyard.

Thirsty, one to never be short of what one needs has a Vernon grave identifier and the thing points out where these Kneegrows and Coldcashun woman should be digging.

These crazy mofos dig up Vernon and put him in the trunk of a car. Before the trunk is closed Dre has a eulogy moment with the corpse followed by Lucious wishing the corpse a rotting stay in hell.

The episode closed with a scene that shows just how callous Lucious can be. That fool convinced Andrea or Thirsty or both to put Vernon’s decrepit corpse in Roxanne Ford’s car. Now that one straight gansta on a crazy level.

Uncle Vernon’s Corpse With Roxanne Ford

Next week Empire takes us to church.Them fools need to go to church.

Residual Goodies Stuff I couldn’t fit in the post you just read that you just might find interesting.

Empire tweet of the week.

Ladies if you want to replicate the Cookie ass smack scene here are the treads, leather, and accessories you’ll need.

Moschino Jacket / Moschino Skirt (coming soon) (similar, $400) / Fendi Purse ($1,650) (look for less, $61.99) / Kenneth Jay Lane Earrings (similar, $60) / Kenneth Jay Lane Square Ring (similar, $78.75) / Kenneth Jay Lane Spiral Ring (similar, $87.50) / Pierre Hardy Heels ($845) (look for less, $274) / Versace Sunglasses ($280) (look for less, $7.90) — See more at: [SOURCE]

This Episodes OMG Moment

If you didn’t know now you know — Dre and Boo Boo Kitty are a couple in real life as Trai Byers and Grace Gealey.

Hakeem is a real rapper.

And I’m out. See ya on the next post.

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