My Father’s Greatest Gifts — 003
From “Everyone Gets Coffee”
PART 1 OF 3
OVER THE NEXT THREE ARTICLES, I WILL BE DISCUSSING A FEW OF THE LESSONS THAT MY FATHER HAS TAUGHT ME. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO LOOK TO HIM FOR GUIDANCE, IN BOTH MY PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE, AND I FEEL THAT WHAT I’VE LEARNED IS VERY MUCH WORTH SHARING. MY HOPE AND INTENT IS THAT THE LESSONS HE TAUGHT ME CAN BE HELPFUL TO OTHERS AND HELP THEM GROW AND LEARN AS WELL.
Communication
Great communication lays the foundation for respect.
From the time I was 5 or 6 years old, my father instilled in me the importance of great communication. During each summer growing up, my brother and I would tag along with my dad to client meetings and construction sites while he worked, and when meeting someone new, he would always introduce me and say the same five words:
“This is my son, George”.
That was it. The ball was then in my court. My dad didn’t let me hide behind his leg, or wait in the car, or look down at the ground (in today’s terms, “look down at our tablets/phones”) and avoid conversation. It wasn’t up to him to shepherd us through the introduction and answer every question for us. He expected us to introduce ourselves, and to do so respectfully. We were responsible for speaking on our own behalf, and for being the “owner” of our half of the introduction. He taught us to make strong eye contact, extend our hand, and offer a firm handshake to the man or woman we were being introduced to. It was this simple yet powerful gesture that has stuck with me ever since, and I continue to live by these practices today.
The greatest part of this lesson is that my dad used this method of introduction with everyone we met. His introduction did not discriminate. It didn’t matter if we were meeting the forklift driver, the crew installing drywall, the cashier at the building materials store, or the president/CEO of a company; my dad showed each person the same, genuine respect, and expected me to do the same.
In my dad’s mind, great communication was not just a way to gather and distribute information, but a way to connect people and ideas. A way to create, build, and sustain lasting relationships. I’m constantly amazed even today at how important a handshake can be. It is the first line of introduction, and also the final and binding agreement of one’s word. It allows people of all backgrounds and disciplines to find common ground during the initial moment they meet, and implies that each person can be trusted.
Communication is crucial to our growth and development.
My dad’s method also gave me incredible confidence. While I’ll admit, even though it was daunting at 5 and 6 years old to meet new people at first, I quickly embraced it, and from then on felt no fear or apprehension when meeting someone for the first time. Even today, I do not hesitate walking into meetings, or bumping into a board member in the hallway, or stopping by an executive’s office to have a quick conversation. Regardless of title, status, or position, if you treat each person you meet with sincerity and confidence, you can almost certainly be sure that you will receive their respect.
Personally, what my dad taught me about communication has also carried over into my marriage. While I’m sure I’m not exactly the prolific communicator I think I am (as any married man’s wife will contest), I do know how important communication with your spouse is. As I mentioned earlier, communication helps bring you closer and connect with people, and there could not be a greater example of this than in marriage. Strong communication shows your partner that you care about what is important to them, and that in your mind whatever their interests or concerns are, they will receive your utmost and best attention.
In closing, I will use the end of my dad’s first lesson to preview my next topic, and that is the power of respect. Great communication lays the foundation for respect. Aside from our basic needs as human beings, we all yearn and desire to have the respect of others, and ultimately respect for ourselves. In my eyes, respect is something not easily given, but only earned. No one has the right to be given respect, but EVERY person has the right to the opportunity and chance to earn someone’s respect. This holds true in the workplace, in the home, in schools, and in our communities. I am very eager to continue the discussion of respect in my next article.
I ask and encourage each person reading this to do one thing today that helps improve your communication. Whether it be introducing yourself to someone you’ve been hesitant to meet, reaching out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a long time, or telling your loved ones how much they mean to you, life is too precious and short to let a lack of communication stand in the way of happiness.
God bless, and be well.
George
https://georgeallers.wordpress.com/2016/10/03/my-fathers-greatest-gifts-003/
