10 Digital New Year’s Resolutions For The People Who Are Annoying Me

Airing of digital grievances which are unlikely to reach resolution in 2016…

1. Don’t do your main work email on a mobile device. (That is just pretend-work.)

2. Stop ninja calling.

3. Don’t say you have “forgotten your password” unless you are actually at that moment wearing a hair shirt and flagellating yourself.

4. If you are a self-professed “broad brushstrokes person”, at least acknowledge that *somewhere* the detail has to be done by *someone*. Don’t dismiss, fight, undermine, or belittle the detail people. They run the digital world so you can have your iPhone and say “just look at how simple this is”.

5. Learn how to search your inbox, fool.

6. Don’t ask for “a report”. Ask meaningful questions.

7. First, try copy pasting your how-to question or error message into Google, before you lamely ask me.

8. I don’t need the full-size print resolution version of the photos you are sharing. Resize. See 7.

9. Don’t invite collaboration by sending me a .docx as an attachment unless this is some sort of pre-agreed retro in-joke between us.

10. Instead of sending me a multi-page PDF to print, sign, scan, and return as an attachment, it is easier if you and your entire office just perform seppuku now.