Not so Fantastic Beats and the true Crime of Grindelwald

Last week saw yet another Harry Potter film flourish onto the big screen. Full of CGI, awkward relationships and nothing short of the worst script of the series. JK Rowling continues to bleed everything she can from one of the greatest literature universe’s.

‘Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them: The Crimes of Grindelwald’ is not only the longest film title ever but one of the most confusing family films of the year. A plot that never truly makes sense (and I have seen it twice now, don’t ask why) and characters who you never truly care about. Mix that with one of the worst casting choices of the century, the vile human that is Johnny Depp. A man who shouldn’t be allowed to make a film ever again, and please don’t tell me innocent until proven guilty. He is a human being who belongs in prison rather than in the eyes of millions across the world. Yet, even with all of this, he can seemingly no longer act either. It is truly astonishing how he continues to get film roles. Every single scene he is in, he ruins. Which gets to a point where you want to leave the cinema ( I didn’t pay to see this film either time by the way, giving him my money is not an idea I will consider).

Other casting choices such as Jude Law as Albus Dumbledore is also questionnable but alongside Depp, it is rather normal. Zoe Kravitz is great as always, beautiful, smart and elegant although her ending is frustrating but that is down to a poor script…AGAIN! Ezra Miller is fabulous in everything he touches and, although he is wasted here, he is the highlight of the film alongside the enigmatic Eddie R.

Why FBAWTFT 2 is going to be forgotten in the Harry Potter universe simply points to the truly confusing and irrelevant amount of pointless story and character building. So much happens in this film that you start to lose where you are and who you are meant to be following. I will try and summarise…

‘Grindelwald considers himself the man who needs to put pure bloods at the top of the world order by gaining Creedence (Ezra Miller) on his team and get rid of Dumbeldore. But at the same time the Ministry are after him, although they want to kill him/hurt him/get rid of him. Newt must join forces with old faces and get to Creedance before Grindelwald does. In the meantime Creedance is trying to find out who he is, much believed to be related to a famous HP family from the past films, but is he? Lita Lestrange turns up and she might be someone important or might not. While the rest of the wizard world is going a bit mad and are angry at the ministry, Jacob is trying to his place in the wizard world.’

I missed out a lot there without trying to ruin the film. It is confusing and draining, which is bizarre because it is meant to be a kids film.

I would point to the interesting relationship between Grindelwald and Dumbledore as a point of discussion. The film tries to point towards a homosexual relationship without ever really coming out with the words.

The final point of complaint will be of the monsters. What happened to props? When did CGI become so essential that everything we see that isn’t human is now computer generated. I think the old monsters in the previous Harry Potter films felt magical due to their realism. Alas, Hollywood.

Rating: 3/7