Confidence: Waffles Topped with Enlightenment
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
— Mahatma Gandhi
Confidence comes in many forms — it isn’t simply an all-encompassing belief in yourself. No one is good at everything, but not being good at something, especially just because of a lack of experience, shouldn’t keep you from doing it. Confidence is a skill that can be learned through experience and repetition. It won’t make you good at everything, but it will make you more comfortable with your ability to do challenging things. With time, things that once seemed foreign can become commonplace.
To tackle our next challenge we will need to cross continents again and move to the bustling and beautiful Belgium.
Destination 3
Jessica Rohrer grew up in Northern Virginia, went to college at James Madison University, and spent her career working in D.C., providing specialized lending in the banking industry. For most of her life, Jessica had never lived anywhere but her home state and the D.C. area. But in 2016, her husband was given the opportunity to work in Belgium. So she decided to pack up her bags and move to Europe — with no job in sight.
“Before I decided to quit and go to Europe for an extended period of time, I was doing really well. I was making a lot of money; I was on the fast track to management. I take the metro into work every single day and I remember I was standing on the escalator on the way to the office and it was silent, everyone was staring at their phone and I remember looking around and thinking to myself, ‘Is this what I want for the rest of my life, is this what I want it to be like?’ No, even though it is really scary, I’m going to Europe.”
The plan was that Jessica would rely on her husband’s income until she could find a job in Belgium. They would enjoy their time abroad, including time to travel across Europe together, and afterward would return to the U.S. and settle down. However, shortly after the couple moved to Belgium, they separated. Jessica was faced with a very tough decision: go back to the comforts of home, or stay the course and see her plan through — alone. She chose the latter.
Jessica had never traveled alone before, and she was surprised by how challenging it was. “Traveling as a solo female proved to be a difficult test; I had to learn to trust myself again. I had no one to depend on. Belgium was on high alert from a terror attack, which did not help the situation. It is very easy to get caught up in all the bad things that you hear are happening in the world, but going out there and seeing all the beauty and wonder helps to alleviate that negativity. And it is completely worth it. I learned so much about new people and other cultures; my horizons were constantly being broadened.”
Finding a job abroad was yet another challenge. Although English is widely spoken in Belgium, most financial institutions there require employees to be proficient in French and Dutch. Like most Americans, Jessica did not have those extra languages under her belt. Rather than be discouraged when she couldn’t get a job similar to her old one, Jessica decided to start her own business. Her solo travels had given her confidence in her ability to work through whatever life threw at her.
Her travels also taught her something else: there were a lot of expats who needed financial advice, for everything from investments to saving for retirement. Jessica had the financial background to help, and she signed up for two more courses to build her acumen: a business development course to learn how to promote herself, and French classes to better integrate and to help expand her reach in her new home. She even studied for and earned a Series 65 license, which allowed her to provide additional investment advice.
“I formed a different perspective on life while traveling; I got a glimpse at what really matters. I was stressed out before going abroad. I was working at a big bank in D.C., waking up unhappy, and I was worrying about all these things that just don’t seem important anymore. Traveling gave me a broader perspective on life, on what is important and what really matters, and what life is like for other people; how it’s different and how it’s the same. Everyone is just looking to find happiness when it comes down to it.”
Jessica left everything she knew behind, and still managed to build a great life in Belgium. And from the vantage point of this new Jessica, she had time to reflect on what she wanted the rest of her life to look like, and the confidence to bring that vision to fruition.
From a very early age, our lives are structured. We’re supposed to go to school, then college, then work, climb the corporate ladder, have children, and finally retire. If you make it through all that, feel free to do whatever your 75-year-old heart desires. Self-reflection doesn’t have a clear spot on this path. “Being at home, sometimes you find yourself on autopilot and before you know it five years have passed. When I went abroad, it gave me the opportunity to see where I wanted to go next in my life.”
Jessica ended up returning to the U.S., though she moved to Nashville rather than go back to D.C. She says, “It’s hard to explain just how different my life is. My life now looks nothing like my life before I left for Belgium. It’s crazy. I realized I wanted to make an impact on people’s lives and I didn’t feel as though I was doing that before. I found a job that I actually like (which is possible!). Now I’m working at a non-profit lender helping to develop the small-business community in Nashville.”
A lot of you reading this book can likely sympathize with Jessica’s situation. The majority of us live to work rather than work to live, and this is why so many of us face an existential crisis at some point in our lives. Because she traveled Europe on her own, Jessica found a way of life that actually made her happy. “I had a different lifestyle in Europe, one where people actually take coffee breaks, lunch breaks and vacations, even long vacations. When I came back to the U.S., I knew I couldn’t go back to my old life. I wanted to create a lifestyle working in a job I was passionate about and where life was about more than just work.”
And now she does.
Souvenirs:
● Jessica had never taken the opportunity to reflect on her life choices. Although she was doing well in her job, she was not happy.
- It’s hard to really reflect on something as big as your life path while you’re staying on it. Even if you do not take a trip to the other side of the world, take some time off and away to figure out what you really want.
● Jessica was in a tough position after moving to Belgium because she split from her husband. She made the best of her situation and came out stronger and happier as a result.
- Life often throws curve balls when we least expect them. Sometimes, the answer to tumult isn’t to look for a new anchor, but to take the opportunity to embrace the unknown.
- If you’re brave enough, solo travel can be the most rewarding and life-changing way to go.
● Jessica’s time abroad gave her the confidence and inspiration to change both her job and her philosophy about working.
- You do not need to travel across Europe to see what is and isn’t working in your life, but you do need to do things that take you out of your element and show you how strong you can be.
● Even when she returned to the U.S., Jessica changed her lifestyle to reflect the values that she had learned were important to her.
- Whatever you learn when you’re away, you can find a way to incorporate it into your old life — or use it to forge a new one.
If you’d like this story and would like to read more, you can order a copy of my book here. If you want to connect, you can reach me here via email thetravelersedgebook@gmail.com or connect with me on Instagram: @thestandbyguy. I would love to hear your feedback so please let me know what you think!
