Eternal youth online — What happened when I started lying about my age on Tinder
“A female only prerogative? No. I want a piece of that”
“I’m not really interested in women over 35” said an over 40 something recently. He’s looking for ‘the one’ and she has to be in healthy childbearing condition. I thought about it a bit and then I told him he should start lying about his age.
Actually I didn’t think that long, because I’ve been lying about my age on Tinder for some time now. I can’t say I feel much shame. I remember the first time: She was young, she was pure, she was sweet she was nice. I was drunk; and when she asked me my age the 5 year underestimation just popped out. I didn’t correct myself and since…. well on Tinder, there are big advantages….
Why do people lie about their age on Tinder?
Tinder only allows you to match with people who have set their age parameters to include you. Naturally people make pretty flippant decisions about this age range and typically stick to the big numbers. So think under or over 40, 35, 30, 25.
Get yourself under one of these milestones and yours chances multiply. In my case, I way more than doubled my chances. I have basically never run out of potential matches since I turned below 35. (Beforehand, there were often no women left in the pot — yes I am a bit of an addict, I admit it).
Are women lying about their age more than they used to?
Seems like barely yesterday someone invented the term Cougar, but it’s had an effect. Women my age are pitching their sights so low it’s embarrassing. Take your eye off them for a second and, when you turn round, you’ll find your date tongue-deep in some spotty 20 yr old.
Cougar dating is real and you’ve got to wonder how often these women tell the odd fib when they’re out and about late at night — or indeed on their dating profiles. In fact it’s been reported that women lie more often on their profiles than men.
Does age matter when we are looking for love?
So this is all a bit of fun right? But what about when people are looking for serious relationships.
I read a recent report that stated even people on Tinder are predominantly searching for love rather than just a one night stands. This is certainly my experience. My Tinder matches use the service in one of two ways: As a pure play look for love (coffee dates, long profile statements), or as a causal site with the hope that one of these sweaty strangers will be the one. There are definitely more of the former, unfortunately.
So loads of people are lying on their Tinder profiles and loads of people are looking for love on Tinder. It’s easy to do the maths here are conclude that, it’s not just a casual thing, people are starting long term relationships based on lies. Sounds awful, but does it really matter?
When to tell your partner that you’ve been lying about your age?
Well one option is never. You could take inspiration from the story of Lisa Meritz’s mother Sally. She lied about her age to everyone for her whole life and got away with it — or at least nearly. I like this approach. Men should be able to adopt it as well. For too long, murkiness on issues of age has been a female only prerogative. I want a piece of that. ‘Never ask a woman about her age’. — Never ask me either…
So how old am I anyway?
If you’ve read this far and you’re confused about how old I actually really am. I’ll tell you. My stock answer: I’m 37. — ask me again in a year…..
The pitfalls of lying about your age online
A bad lie is never a white lie, so don’t overdo it. Sally’s story was cool because she didn’t get caught out till she was well past it. However….In a Beta version of my Tinder profile I may have at one point stated 31. This was a bit of a stretch. More to the point, there are people in this town on Tinder who know my real age (they must die!!! — kidding, kidding). So it was that my ex received a screen shot of my 31 yr old profile. I thought it was immature of her, but she couldn’t stop giggling. (BTW: Amelie, if you’re reading this, you should know I still haven’t forgiven you. — Why the swipe left? — was it the age thing or the dishonesty that put you off??)