Guys, painful enough, but gotta admit.
Don’t wanna go to Barcelona anymore.
Don’t really wanna see my great, lively and enthusiastic techer Juan Carlos anymore.
Don’t care much about the punishment either.
Can’t listen to Shakira, Alvaro Soler and J Lo anymore.
Don’t look forward to chatting with my cute language exchange much.
Don’t see why I bothered in the first place...
Maybe it's cause I caught a cold earlier this week. And feel rather tired.
This avalanche of missed deadlines and piled up tasks just demotivates me even further.
And I should be the example, as I told my English students about the add1challenge program and they’re really looking up to me and my progress.
The funny thing, I do see and feel progress. It becomes much easier to understand Spanish speakers and get my message across.
And now I don't feel like doing it anymore.
Sad and tired.
Have you had this in your experience?
Should I wait, give it a rest and it'll pass?
Or will it be like the saying "sometimes the space you give someone becomes the space between you".
What if I give it up, like I give up all the things before?
Why do I start and don’t finish? Why do I get cold on my partners? Why do I lose motivation and desire to move on?
What’s the blockage?
Is it possible I do it all not 'cause I wanna do it, but to impress someone? To make them think better about me.
I know I like that thing. And I know I feel better when I let it go. Do I really have to let go of Spanish ? Or just find a better motivation to keep on?
What if I persist and get through it? No questions there, I guess .
But what if I persist and don’t get through it? What if it’ll only get worse and I’ll hate Spanish altogether and will never actually learn it?
Dunno what it was, but having written all this, I’m feeling like studying now.
Not sure how it worked. Apparently venting it all out helped and I’m ready to move on.
Not sure anyone will read it up till here. Or read it at all. But it’s really nice to feel connected and feel like I’m not alone. Even if I’m the slowest and lowest student on this course (or ever) I’m not alone. And one way or another I’ll get through it.
We all will.
Small but persistent and sustainable/regular steps ;)
What helps you carry on?