I remember JAY-Z saying something really interesting during a radio interview about how he knew he could be a great businessman. He said that he looked at what successful businessmen around him were doing and essentially put himself in their shoes. More often than not, he would look at the ramifications of his decisions (putting himself in their shoes) and see that he could do better than what happened in reality. *Note: I’m not talking about some very general personality traits or actions, this is about very specific business decisions that you would know only if you were proximal to a particular situation.*

I listened to that radio interview a couple more times.

Then I thought, I kind of do that too. While it’s not always about business, it’ll usually be something I’m curious about. Weirdly enough I find myself messing around socially to see how people would react to certain pushes and pulls, after watching somebody else do something.

Do other people do that too? Or is it just me… conducting my own weird experiments? I guess experiments would be understating its authenticity, I try them out of genuine curiosity. It’s real, but concealed in a way… is there a word for this kind of paradox?

I remember meeting this person who wrote on Medium about how she thought she would never do any writing for fun (then started blogging). A couple stories later one of her Medium blogs went viral. She told me that writing is more fun than you would expect, so I thought about giving it a shot. I wrote a story about some of my feelings about cultural differences, my first blog. It was interesting, but was this something internally satisfying or something I wanted the world to care about?

Then I read some Paul Graham essays, which were fantastic. It felt so relatable and I thought: writing is a dopey way to communicate. In blog style, you can express much more in various respects than during a presentation.

He also said that he learned that writing is not about being fancy but more like having a conversation. Thank god. At least that eliminates a lot of my doubts about me not being able to writing because of stylistic difficulties. I also don’t have an excuse anymore. That sucks.

Later during the month, I read a bit about Ryan Hoover. He said blogging is the future resume/CV because it is a much better indicator of how an individual thinks. Seems intriguing enough, I’d be down to write a bit more.

But Ryan’s also been featured on a whole bunch of different publications. Seems like a hassle. Maybe I’ll ask around. I don’t have a lot of publisher friends though. I guess randomly messaging some could work.

For now, writing for personal content seems to be enough. I’m enjoying the low pressure of the no expectations box. Eventually it’ll get boring and I’ll force myself to do some more publication work, but having nobody care is fun too.

If you go back to Kanye’s earlier videos (before he was a famous rapper), you’ll see that he always thought that he’d be a famous rapper. If you read Steve Jobs’ biography, you’ll find that he always thought that he was responsible for carrying the torch of being the next Silicon Valley mogul.

Today, I watched an interview of Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt talking about how they always knew they’d be famous actors (it was to scout their reactions about a movie I watched of them).

At first I thought, I feel the same way. It’s weird though. I do feel really confident about it. A couple hours later, I didn’t feel as strongly about it when I was struggling to stay concentrated on some studying. I mean really George, you can’t even do that?

I also do have this feeling that it could end badly if I’m not careful. In that manner Steve Jobs’ story is very relatable. But will it happen? A lot of speculation at this point. Maybe right now none of this matters.

I also don’t enjoy being put in a box of doing a single type of career. I’m also not a creator. I put creations into context. That places Kanye and Steve right into my ball park… but I’m also not as crazy as them. What they did was also monumentally difficult, which is certainly annoying, this is what I have to look forward to? That kinda sucks, but also exciting.

Back to those original thoughts when I was watching the interview today. Do people just know? Or is hindsight 20/20? Does it matter? Is it applicable? Can I make it applicable? Do I care? Should I care?

What if I’m living in an era where my skills are not translatable?

Hahaha: could you imagine Shakespeare being born in this era? Nobody would care enough about his plays. That would suck. Or would he have been a movie producer instead? Fair question, but I wouldn’t know his personality to compare with somebody today.

So I guess I can’t really answer the question about if my skills are more translatable in another era. I guess the question doesn’t really matter.

It would certainly be useful to put these questions into action. Still have yet to find a small actionable item to experiment. For now… reading a bit more to get inspired.

{what’s the small actionable item, what is it, what is it, someone tell me, figure it out yourself, what is it, what is it, what is it, what is it}