5 Things You Need To Know In Your First Year of Marriage to Build a Strong Foundation
When my husband and I got married a little over a year ago, I would never have guessed HOW much I still had left to learn about the man I was pledging my life to. We had dated for about 5 years before we got married, and while we hadn’t lived together beforehand I was sure I “knew” just how he did everything. Ha. Ha. Ha.
1. Remember that this is a new scenario for “both” of you.
Unless you or your spouse have been married previously, married life is a gateway to a whole host of new and sometimes awkward situations. You each have to take the time to sort out each individual new instance as they come, and not be afraid to speak your mind on how you feel. This is new for both of you, and remembering they are learning to adjust to a new situation as well can help when mediating new waters.
2. Address “pet peeves” as soon as they become an issue. Trust me on this.
When my husband and I got married, it had never dawned on me that I had just married the ultimate bachelor. Hubs was a child of divorce, and the home he shared previously with his dad was the epitome of “man cave” status. It quickly occurred to me that certain behaviors he had grown accustomed to while living with his dad DROVE ME CRAZY!
Chief among these was leaving water on the floor of the bathroom after a shower. To this day I am not sure how he accomplishes this feat, but he can cover an entire bathroom floor in giant puddles of water in under 15 minutes just from drying off after a shower. I often thought he didn’t use a towel but shook himself like a dog to make such a mess. That in itself wouldn’t be that big of a deal, if he cleaned it up.
But he would not do it. Whether it was minutes, hours, or even the next day, whenever I next stood in that bathroom I was sure to have sopping wet feet. Eventually, I had enough and confronted him about it. To his credit, he had never shared a bathroom before and in his mind it was just supposed to air dry. Thankfully now he wipes up his mess since he knows it bothers me, and I have the shiniest bathroom floors in the southeast!
3. Be sensitive to what they are sensitive to, especially family heirlooms or sentimental items.
In my mind, 400 hats are not what I would call a family heirloom or a priceless treasure. However, in my husbands eyes his hat collection is a truly a site to behold. Each hat holds a place of significance in regard to his racing career, a celebrity sighting, or a cherished family moment from before the divorce. He can pick up each hat in turn, and tell its specific story right off the bat.
In response, I had to reevaluate our family method of determining somethings value. In our house, you have to in under 30 seconds tell the significance of that item and why you absolutely need it. Otherwise, off to Goodwill it goes. This method has aided us greatly when purging deep recesses of coat closets in our moving process.
4. Make time for adventures.
When Hubs and I got married, we jumped straight into the “deep end” of life. Within the first six months, we had a wedding, a honeymoon, a career change, a significant death in the family, and all the struggles that come with setting up a new family unit. Life had become incredibly busy, and we realized early on that no matter how crazy our “ normal” was, we had to make time for each other and adventures.
For us, once a month we go on a adventure date. Whether it’s exploring a museum, checking out the different varieties of fish at the aquarium, or just taking a day to drive up the coast and see some new scenery, we do something new and enjoyable together.
5. Pray/Meditate together.
To me this is the most important thing in order to build a strong foundation in your first year of marriage. While I know not everyone is religious, I truly do encourage you to try the power of prayer and meditative time with your spouse. This can be done in a variety of ways.
My spouse and I do pray together nightly, and discuss with God and each other out loud the struggles we are currently going through and goals we would like to ascertain. Having this time together each evening allows us to clear our headspace and go to sleep rejuvenated and on the same page in our marriage and life. It also brings us closer together spiritually, which is a crucial thing for us.
I would highly suggest meditation together, prayer each day, or just 15 minutes of focused communication together as a way to bring balance and harmony to your marriage.
Thank you so much for reading today’s post and I truly hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please let me know by clicking the green heart at the bottom of the page!
Remember, Give in to the impossible — it’s out there, waiting for you.
Georgia Caroline is a wife, believer, and fur mom chronicling her journey as she and her family move to a new town and begin a new career — all in the name of giving in to the impossible. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org .