My childhood was a mess. My mother never wanted children but she got married and being Irish Catholic it figures kids would follow

By all accounts my father loved me dearly but not enough to tackle his gambling addiction or give him enough restraint not to commit murder. He was in prison before I hit the age of two

My mother didn’t want kids and she never held or cuddled us, I had a sister born just after my father went to prison. My mother let an aunt and uncle adopt my sister and she told me my sister and father had both died and I’d never see them again. I never saw any of my fathers family again nor much of hers she feared someone would tell me about her lies

Besides dealing with my cold and abusive mother I am also an Aspi and I often wonder if that is because of how I was raised or even if the explosion my mother was in when pregnant with me could have caused some brain damage. She was working in a munitions factory when there was an explosion which blew her through a wall. It also burned off her eyelashes and eyebrows. I’m sure there was a serious release of chemicals into my brain then

I do blame my parents and I know the trauma they went through growing up. This is hoe those ugly cycles of abuse are created but I also look into myself and see how I can create a better me where I don’t need to focus on the blame of others

    Georgia Mrkvicka Westphal

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    Im 73, a widow. I live in “rural” Alaska. We are off grid and that does not stop me from being opionuated