Why Does Dating Men Make Me Feel Like Shit?
Emma Lindsay

Just wanted to offer two alternate explanations of why he would go on about petite girls.

  1. It could be a very bad, clumsy compliment, in fact so bad that you didn’t recognize it: “I’m into petite girls, but I’m attracted to you even though you’re not petite. That means I’m attracted to you despite the fact you are not petite.” I know all you will hear is “I’m not petite.” While the guy is trying to say, that he’s attracted to you, but not because you fulfill his typical stereotype, which makes it special form him. In short, you blow him away in a positive sense.
  2. It could be part of trying to connect to you by talking about something that moves him. You mentioned the types guys are into being part of their identities. That’s true, and it isn’t all about shame. Most of it is just plain experience. Let’s say for your whole life you disliked broccoli and now you’re on a date, you’re having broccoli and you’re loving it. Wouldn’t you find that confusing? Wouldn’t you want to discuss that with your date if you’re having a good time with him? Of course it’s not charming if your date is the broccoli, but we’ve already established that the guy is clumsy, otherwise he wouldn’t have discussed your petiteness in the first place.

Also I need to mention, that we guys don’t consider petiteness as an objective quality. Some guys like it, some guys don’t. Petiteness is not like beautiful vs ugly, where one is better than the other, it’s more like blonde and brunette, where both are equal.

Last I can say that I’ve made similar comments before and it was always either because I really liked the person and I wanted to connect, or I wanted to make unmistakably clear that I did not want to have sex with her, but that was accompanied by more messages on other channels.

Either way, the information you give about his comments is not enough to make a call either way, but here are a few more options to look at it in the right light.

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