Don’t you think it comes down to who you are, and the type of person you want to attract? If you are being the “pretty girl” and attracting hot guys who don’t fuck you well enough, don’t you think there might be some synergy missing there, by the very fact you are trying to be someone you may not necessarily be? Whereas when you decided to fill into who you really are, you started attracting guys who were more attracted to you, and therefore had better sex with, despite them being somewhat confused.
I’m a heterosexual male, and this is my experience. The best sex was with the women I was most attracted to and who were also most attracted to me, no surprise here. It’s really hard to be turned on by someone who hasn’t identified who they are, even when they fit your ideal mould on the surface.