That Feeling You Get When You Think You’ve Penned the Best Piece of Your Life And It Has 41 Green…
Heather Nann

My first thought was, “Is 41 good or bad?”

I honestly have no idea what a good number is for hearts on Medium as I just never check my stats. I honestly don’t know how many followers I have, how many people read my stuff or any of that. I would so suck at a startup pitch meeting.. there would be lots of shrugging, no check-writing. Same with SharkTank, but I digress

I also don’t make a living by writing; for me it’s just another tool in my toolbelt, so maybe that’s the difference? All I ever know from who is reading is those notifications I get next to my smiling mug or that little green dot on the app. Ok, I check that out and interact with whomever decided I contributed to their day. I am always more grateful for the interactions than stats.

A bit of perspective for me: I was talking with my son (31, super smart) just yesterday about how much work goes into building something…. raising kids, buying a house, writing a book… generally any of the big things in life. He made the observation that none of us is really told how much work, how much of ourselves will be required to make something of value because if we knew… like really, really knew how much we would need to give, how long it would take, how much faith in the unknown would be asked of us to make this thing which may or may not even work in the end, few of us would even start. It would overwhelm most of us.

I can write one letter, one essay, one comment. I can have one conversation, read one story, lose one pound, walk around one block, etc… I CAN NOT write one novel, write 100 letters to Hillary Clinton, lose 20 pounds, run a 5k… I’ve always thought the trick to surviving anything (like Survivor which is 39 days) is to tell yourself you can do anything for 30 days.. or 10 minutes.. live 10 minutes at a time, then another 10, then another…. write that one essay, then another, then another… OMG, you’ve got a book after 10 years….

So is 41 hearts good or bad? I dunno.. I have no idea if I have anything on here that has gotten 41 hearts or more, or what my count is for the “best” piece I’ve written… all I know is I published the damn thing and it’s out of my head, I move forward. If it touches just one person, I am truly overwhelmed with gratitude (and I’m really too f*cking old to say that without irony… but it’s true)

I don’t know where the hell I was going with this when I started out, but I feel like we ended up in a good place. Thank you anyone who stuck with me, even though I think this response may have meandered a bit…

I read your original story Heather Nann and I may or may not have hearted it.. I can’t honestly remember.. but what I do remember is two things:

  • Your story made me feel some things that are as yet undefined, but stuck inside the gooey parts of my core and are flapping around in there, routing out some other things that have been stuck in there for a long time, thinking they were safe from being disturbed, but needed to be tended to.
  • I’ve wanted a tattoo, but have spent the last 50 years trying to decide what that should be and where. I waited long enough for life to impose those four little dots they give you so the lasers can zap out the right parts, but those somehow don’t seem like the same as a “tattoo.” I’m flirting with one that says “This End Up” on my right hip bone, but I think somehow, it’s probably only gonna be funny to me and one other person and only for about 10 minutes…. still pondering, but your story keeps the dream alive.. for that, thank you.

Gonna hit publish now. You were my one thing this morning.

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