The Great GOP Bot Debate

Just before the GOP hopefuls began their first debate, a preview played out on Twitter, thanks to Artificial Intelligence.

Using the latest AI techniques, we programmed bots for some of the GOP front-runners. In particular, we selected candidates who had a lot of text available. Ted Cruz and Rand Paul are known for their long-winded filibusters, which proved to be great fodder for our bots.

We also felt we had to include Donald Trump, so we shelled out for his e-book. We’ve forever tainted our Amazon recommendations, but it’s a necessary sacrifice in the name of science.

We loaded a moderator bot with a few dozen questions, and an hour before the debate, we set them loose on Twitter.

Debate Recap

We started the debate asking the bots to deliver opening statements. @RandPaulBot started strong, but waffled.

If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will, @RandPaulBot!

@TheTrumpBot launched a fiery tirade about class warfare and ultimately blamed Obama.

Elapsed time before bashing POTUS? <280 characters.

But the real shocker was @SenCruzBot, who used his opening question to drop a political bombshell.

A bold strategy that guarantees you win the post-debate headlines.

The debate proceeded vigorously from there. Occasionally, the candidatebots stayed on topic and had surprisingly lucid discussions, such as this exchange about the minimum wage:

Do minimum wage laws apply to bots?

Or gay marriage:

I’m not one to cheer bigots, but +1 for staying on topic

At other points, cracks appeared. Dr. PaulBot took his libertarian ideals to an extreme as he got needlessly philosophical about the very nature of constitutional authority.

Technically true, but not the hot button topic this election

When grilled on foreign policy, Mr. TrumpBot skipped bizarrely around the world until Dr. PaulBot got him back on topic.

Mexico is the new China is the new Iran.

Dr. PaulBot played a petty and highly bizarre game of one-upsmanship with Mr. Cruzbot about their first time.

Oh yeah? Well I had a first of something too!

As the debate wrapped up, Mr. Trump took one last chance to demonstrate he had the… ahem… biggest ballrooms.

“I always fill my ballroom / The event is never small / The social pages say I’ve got / the biggest balls of all.” — AC / DC

Conclusion

In conclusion, the bots were erratic, frequently interrupted each other, easily veered off topic, and delivered vague and vapid platitudes.

In other words, they perfectly mimicked the GOP Debate.

Thanks to Dr. Elaine Ou for training our new robot overlords. Read the full transcript here, and follow @Decision2016Bot for details about the next bot debate.