Why Divorcees Shouldn’t Be Frowned Upon

Originally published at lmt-lss.com on January 14, 2016.

A divorce needn’t be the end of life.

“Marriage: It’s not for everyone.” said an iconic TV character in a show that went on to achieve cult status. It’s true that dealing with the sudden responsibilities and closeness that marriage brings on is not for everybody. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes things don’t work out. Divorce, however still carries a stigma attached to it in our society. Divorcees are viewed as disparagement, and are often blamed for what went wrong in their marriages. Mistakes can, and do happen. We’re only human, after all. Getting out of a bad marriage that’s making one unhappy is not only laudable, it is a very brave thing to do. Despite that divorcees are not shown the support and love they deserve in our society. On the contrary, they’re often viewed with distaste, denied apartments or grants, and shunned at festivals and celebratory occasions.

Why Divorce Has A Stigma Attached To It

In the world we live in, quitters are looked down upon. Sadly, divorcees are considered quitters by many. Divorce can have a host of reasons-incompatibility, a cheating spouse, falling out of love, an abusive relationship. However, these reasons are overlooked by many who frown upon divorcees. They jump to the conclusion that if someone has a broken marriage, it must somehow be their fault. And that there must be inherently something wrong with them. Or, there’s this other school of thought that thinks that if someone chose to opt out of a bad marriage, they are somehow ‘weak’ for doing it and should have stuck to the marriage. Here are some of the uncharitable thoughts that crop up in people’s minds on hearing that someone is a divorcee.

  • That they are unreliable, flighty and insincere. That’s probably why the marriage broke up.
  • They must have something wrong with them to have driven away their spouse.
  • If he/she is a divorcee, he/she must be jealous of all happily married couples, and will try to break them up.

The very idea of divorce reminds people of their own failings and makes the cracks in their own marriage glaringly obvious. Many people don’t have the courage to walk out of a bad situation. That’s probably why they are wary of divorcees. They do not want to be reminded of the fact they’re too cowardly to walk out.

How Things Can Change

Making sure that people are aware of the host of reasons that can cause a marriage to break up, and that they don’t go around blaming divorcees for their divorce, is the only way things will get better. Awareness and acceptance have to be increased among people. So that divorcees can rid themselves of the stigma they carry around, and be treated with the requisite love and respect that they deserve.

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