Dear Time Change,

I may understand you, but my cat does not.

Fully aware the majority only accept daylight savings because of the extra hour of sleep. However, if you have a cat, just go ahead and toss that one and only benefit out the window.

For those of you who think “that’s why dogs are awesome!” Look, I have a boyfriend who loves me, shows me affection, I can go on walks with him and he’s not an asshole. I have a cat because cats are assholes. They walk away when you’re talking to them. They don’t like to cuddle unless they feel like it’s absolutely necessary. And they only give you their attention when they need something from you. My cat gives me that unhealthy love so that my personal love life is stable.

When daylight saving time begins, the Mexican standoff beings. The fight starts with one party mouthing off, making demands and being persistent. The other party doesn’t want any trouble, but won’t stand to be treated like they’re some slave. Eventually, the knives come out, blood is shed, and there’s never a clear winner. This goes on for about a month.

In conclusion, daylight savings is a miserable time of year for humans and cats alike.