Figet Spiner

Eff these damn things.

Have I learned Gaelic, or is “Figet Spiner” just the spelling used by a dumb kid? I hope you guessed dumb kid. Always guess dumb kid.

Fidget Spinners and Fidget Cubes are everywhere. Some kids have one of each. Some kids have multiple cubes in different colors. No one at school knows who needs to have one, and who is just using it as a toy. Some kids use them as projectiles…but that’s another story for another day. It’s really just a matter of time before they get banned.

Not surprisingly, kids who don’t have one are pissed. They see their classmates spinning and poking and prodding at these little toys, and they want to be able to do the same.

We have one particular “needy” family (term used loosely, on account of the fact that they have money to spend on things they WANT, but suddenly when it comes to things the kids need, they can’t afford it. Don’t get me started) at our school, and the oldest boy wants one in the worst way. He has decided (or has been told by the adults in his life) that the school should provide him with one, because he has “anger issues”. This child has never shown any anger towards anyone, ever, that we have seen at school. Yet he has come into my office every day for the past week to inform me that his “anger pills” aren’t working anymore, and that he needs a fidget spinner to control his anger. He even talked to the principal about how badly he needs one.

He came in today with a hunk of playdoh in one hand, and a ratty piece of paper (carelessly torn from some piece of school work probably) in his other hand. Chicken-scratched on it in crayon was “figet spiner”. He slid the note across my desk and I said “what is this for?”…to which he VERY CALMLY replied “Remember I talked about my hot head and how angry I get? Well I’m really angry right now, and this ball of dough is not helping, in fact someone threw it at my head, so I wanted to remind the principal that I really need a fidget spinner today because I want to yell and scream and I just think that a fidget spinner would be good for that and my head…” He would have continued this run-on sentence all day. I said “I’m gonna stop you right there. I will pass this note on to the principal, but you have GOT TO GO BACK TO CLASS and talk to your teacher before you come down here again, please!” Yeesh.

He will continue to try and get us to buy him a “figet spiner” until either he gets one, or one of the adults in his house start harping on the school about us buying him one. Hopefully the school bans them before that happens!

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