Finding Light in the Dark Night of the Soul
“Dark Night of the Soul” is deeply rooted in spiritual and mystical traditions, I think it began as a term around the 16th-century Spanish mystic, Saint John of the Cross. This profound experience is characterized by a period of intense spiritual desolation and existential crisis, often viewed as a critical phase in one’s spiritual development. It is a time when one’s previously held beliefs and understandings are challenged, leading to a transformative journey of inner growth. I would add if your life has been auto pilot sometimes this will happen to shake you to what is real within. Like an earthquake externally this shakes your internal and sometimes your external world to the core.
To experience a Dark Night it goes beyond ordinary sadness or depression. It represents a deep state of spiritual emptiness and disconnection. Those who undergo this experience often feel as though they are navigating a void, where the sources of spiritual comfort and guidance they once relied on no longer offer solace. No one helps you, people turn their backs on you, people may say or do awful things to you, or worse judge you. It is a deep time of sorrow and it can drive you mad if you let it. How does one know they are going through this crisis point called the Dark Night of the Soul?
Some key things you will feel may be An overwhelming sense of emptiness and lack of spiritual direction. You are still, you do not know where to turn you feel frozen and it is horrifying. Your past becomes unfullfilling traditional spiritual practices and beliefs seem ineffective and things that once gave you pleasure become as irritating as some of your family or friends. You don’t feel yourself anymore, perhaps you liked meeting with people after work and you find yourself curling up with the television. You don’t feel God or Source you feel abandoned, misled and you are stuck with you and you only. There is a story of Christ asking God, “Father Why have you Forsaken me?” This illustrates your own feeling of abandonment there is silence from the Divine, a real spiritual disconnection.
Along with all of this, you find yourself questioning life and it’s purpose, your place in it and who are you really. You may turn your back on long held beliefs as you just feel empty and it does not make much sense to you suddenly. A great example of this would be in my case for years I was into things that were very esoteric in nature, and I will leave that there. I turned to God in my own way during my experience, not in a church, not in a group, my own personal experience and you may be going through a similar experience.
Emotionally you may be over emotional, crying or angry as you are going through purge of the old self. Past trauma’s and current ones surface allowing you the opportunity to review, forgive and repent. Think solitary confinement in your mind. You may feel overwhelmed with life or little things that never bothered you suddenly are too much. Yes, it will feel like you are losing your mind, but you need to go through it. Let’s look at events that may trigger this crisis.
In my case, it was the loss of my job, the inability to take care of the things that I normally did, like provide food, pay bills so job loss. Death of a loved one, or Divorce may have you falling into the abyss and this may happen more than once. Severe illness, car accidents or accidents that have one laid up for a while, if I am scaring you, I am sorry but these things will usher in a dark night experience. When we are so in charge and so independent and think we have it all figured out but we don’t. Old beliefs and programs in our life must be dismantled before the new “you” arrives.
This is the real resurrection the death of the old and spiritual renewal. The Dark night t is seen as a necessary phase of spiritual purification and growth, stripping away illusions and ego attachments. This intense inner work forces individuals to confront the deepest parts of their being, ultimately leading to a deeper, more authentic connection with their spirituality and a greater understanding of themselves and the universe. A real deep cleanse if you will. It is not pleasant, I mean who wants to do it?
Letting go of judgement and attachments will be helpful on your path to enlightenment. I find when I watch the election stuff if it happens to be on finding myself drifting and not even paying attention to Kindergarten games. I stay in a bit of a neutral zone, a middle way as Buddhists might say. I honestly have better things to do instead of “paying” attention to things I do not control, nor do I get paid for. When you finally accept what you are going through it will start to unfold a little bit at a time. I have been told to stay still and that is hard but I have had days where I do nothing or lay in bed, meditation, light yoga and breathing will help and getting out in nature. Finding support online and research will help, which is why I am writing about this in hopes of shining light from my own experience to help those of you reading this. Unfortunately, this cannot be rushed it is real alchemy and you cannot push through it without patience.
I heard it said it is like a seed in the darkness of the soil, there is no light there is nothing but water and it takes time before the seed pushes its way through the ground into sunlight and grows. This is the best way to think of this sacred event. Eventually you will gain clarity and gain the light. I am still on my journey but will update as often as I can.
The Dark Night of the Soul
By Michelle Holt
I touched the night- the darkest night
It rained for a spell; I walked the vast desert, a burden of hell
Moment to moment, no guide on this path
Facing all shadows, the ones from the past
I spoke but no answer
I cried with no tears
I faced the devils I gathered through years
One by one each shadow disposed
Pushing on…
Each door I did close
Worn at the end
My essence need mend
The ride of my life
The loss and the strife
But,
The dawn is nigh
And the Sun gives it rays
To cover me now- till the end of my days
I love this song below as it illustrates tapping into the light the Black Box in your soul where divinity and spiritual connection lies waiting for the seeker.
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