I’m a Musician, but first I was a Chef
Right out of High School I went to College with a scholarship to study Bassoon performance.
Bassoon was something that had come naturally to me, and I stood out amongst my peers, that is until I got to College. I enjoyed making music but I really didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to make a difference in the world and I thought music wasn’t going to be the way. I wanted something more direct and I thought being an entrepenuer and starting a business would be how I could create real change in a world that seemed like it desperately needed change. The only thing is, I had no idea how to start on that path and school wasn’t working for me.
I ended up dropping out of college and moved back home begrudgingly taking my High School job as busser/dishwasher at our local sushi restaurant. I was a bit lost and didn’t see many opportunities in the real world for someone without a degree, but eventually I came up with a plan. In order to educate myself in business, I would learn about the sushi restaurant I found myself at from the inside out. I decided if I could master every position in the restaurant I would understand how to run a business.
Over many years, that’s exactly what I did. For the first time in my life I had purpose, passion, and determination, something I had rarely found in school. Along the way I fell in love with the little things like mastering the organization of the dish pit and finding a way to always be ready to assist any server in need. Eventually I got into the kitchen where suddenly I felt the rush of concentration I once had when performing music. My knife and spatulas became my instruments, my ingredients became my notes, and I found a home.
I drew on my experience as a musician to develop my skills as a cook. I slowed things down to get the motions in muscle memory. I listened carefully to my team and learned to find a rhythm with the orders coming in. The best part was that I was able to find the same sense of flow that we as musicians live for, where the mind becomes still and intention and movement merge into a beautiful dance.
Some days I would cook in the kitchen and other days I would wait tables. I became fascinated with how the demands of the different jobs completely changed who I was in that moment. As a server I learned to be outgoing and observant of the needs of the guest. Speaking to guests became melodic and I used my words and tone of voice to convey emotion and meaning. As a cook, you spoke with your actions, and your mind became a tool for organizing the flow of your actions and for communicating efficiently with the team around you.
After a couple years in the “hot kitchen” I was given the opportunity to begin training as a sushi chef. The unique movements required to form the rolls and cut the fish are quite difficult to get the hang of. It’s the kind of thing where you are just going to struggle and fail to meet the mark over and over again. For me it was about six months before I felt confident that the sushi I was making was passable.
In sushi you work from a calm, centered place. Every movement is choreographed with intention. Everything must become effortless and nothing can be forced. Speed only comes with time, but when speed does come, it’s unbelievably quick.
Eventually, I became an assistant manager, responsible for all aspects of the restaurant from ordering food, to scheduling, to running shifts alone on Friday and Saturday Nights. During my three weeks of training as a manager I remember my brain hurting every day. The contrasting roles I played as a chef and a waiter needed to be active at the same time. It was as if before only my left or right brain had been on at a time, but now my whole brain was active.
Throughout all my roles, I had trained people in how to work. It was something I loved doing. Everyone learns differently and everyone starts in a different place, but the potential for growth was clear in everyone I ever worked with. As a manager, my job became helping my team develop their skills and habits to higher levels. The job is similar to being an orchestra director, and similarly there are so many different ways to accomplish this and endless things to learn about leading.
As I had completed my goal of learning the restaurant from the inside out, I noticed my growth was no longer as rapid as it had been all this time. This is when I decided to join the opening team of a fine dining restaraunt, Bullion, run by a Michelin starred Chef from France. With all my experience I expected this would be a fun challenge and a way to take my abilities to the next level.
When I interviewed for the job however, I was surprised to find out that they would only hire me as a prep cook because of my lack of experience. When the job started we had 2 months of work ahead of us before the restaurant even opened. Immediately I was in over my head. Anything I did wasn’t good enough, and the 4 sous chefs made sure to tell me all about it. I was drowning in my ineptitude for 10 hours a day. It was the experience of mastering so many things before at the sushi restaurant that let me know that sticking with it, I could be transformed and eventually I would learn how to swim in this new and foreign environment.
I’ve always learned through a combination of osmosis, and focusing on one aspect of what I’m doing at a time. This is how I got better, building one piece of skill at a time and allowing the process to move me through. Somehow, before the restaurant opened, I was moved to the dinner service team of cooks as the Garde Manger, in charge of cold apps and all vegetable preparation. Around 6 months in, I finally started to be able to consistently do the job up to the chefs high standards.
From Bullion, I followed a passion for the best quality ingredients into a startup, Profound Micro Farms, growing hydroponic produce for the fine dining restaurants of Dallas. While I was there, we transformed ourselves into a distribution hub for all local farms, lowering the barriers of access to locally grown foods.
From Profound Micro Farms, I joined the small team of an ambitious new locally focused restaurant, Petra and the Beast. It was here I was able to explore my passions for fermentation and the beautiful art of the multi-course tasting menu. I cherished my time at Petra and the Beast, but eventually, I felt my rate of progress starting to decline. I had just turned 25 and I had learned a lot from the experience of growth throughout my career so far.
I felt now was time for a new challenge and having been away from performing music for so long had changed my perspective on what music can do for the world. I had realized the power music has to affect our lives. Whether listening to opera late at night, finding refuge and expression in the angelic voices of the past or experiencing the utter joy of a bluegrass band playing at a farm dinner, surrounded by nature and stars, putting a much needed smile on my face. So I picked up my bassoon and started my journey as a musician anew.
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