The greatest gift is acceptance

It’s really tough being a crossdresser. First you find it hard to accept yourself. Why do I have a desire to crossdress? Why do I like female clothing when I am a male? Slowly you come to realise that it is just a preference. Like how a girl prefers to wear jeans than skirt. Why can a man prefer dress to shirt then? So finally you convinced yourself that your liking for makeup and dresses are ok. You assure yourself that you are not out of your mind and that you are just a bit different from the other guys.

Then come the day when your family stumble across your stash of dresses/wigs/makeup. You panicked. They worried. They are worried that you have gone crazy. Worried that you may decide to change your gender. All these ideas are unfounded. You know that yourself. So they cannot accept it. They want you to get rid of your stuff, be back the man you should be. These things are not for guys. They thought you can just switch off your liking for female clothing and that you just need someone to get you back to your ‘normal’ self. You know it is hard to just switch off. You have tried many times but only to find yourself back to crossdressing time and time again. Eventually they decided to leave you alone, secretly hoping that you will turn ‘normal’ again one day. Hoping that all is just a passing phase. You hope so too, only to find yourself going back to your little hobby.

To many crossdresser, I believe the best gift that family members can give is simply acceptance. Accepting them for who they are. Trust them and support them. We don’t need you to encourage us by saying ‘Hey, you look great in that dress’. We just seek your understanding that this is who we are and some time we need time off to indulge in our hobby. Acceptance. A single word that is so powerful to people like us but is so hard to be given. I’ve never got any form of acceptance for who I am. Even from my closest family. I toggled between accepting myself to hating myself. Every time I know how my love one hated the other part of me, I will hate myself. Hate myself for making them upset. Hate myself for being weird. These days I try to keep myself sane by accepting the fact that I will never get any acceptance from my love ones because they care too much about me and want me to be ‘normal’. It’s not that they don’t love you, it is because they care for you.

Although I will never get the acceptance from my family, I do know somewhere out there, there are supportive and accepting family for people like us. If you are one of them, please be thankful. For now, I wish all the best to others who are finding acceptance within their family. I tried and I couldn’t find, but you may. Stay strong!

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