You Will Only Get This Second Once — The Big Mistake All Workaholics And Overachievers Are Making

…and are just beginning to realise, as sweeping amounts of highly successful peeps are leaving their jobs, a.k.a The Great Resignation. Have we finally understood that happiness and success are two very different things?

Here’s the trap. Past the fulfilment of basic needs, happiness is de-corelated from your level of success. You may have raised 400 Million Dollar, gotten yourself to 10 Million customers, or became your employer’s top partner-manager, it won’t mean that you are happier. Or even happy. And why so?

• First, as a human being (i.e. a ‘desiring’ being), getting to step B will only make you desire going to step Z. In other words, reaching some level of success will only make you want to have greater success, which will put you through a never-ending loop of discomfort and prevent you from getting the peace you need to be happy.
• Second, the more successful you are, the more worries you will have. Great! You just got to 10 Million customers! This automatically created 10 Million more reason to be scared to loose, and in front of the spectators who were just done cheering on you. You are still not at peace.

So how do you get out of this trap? I see 3 pillars, ranked from ‘beginner’ level to ‘expert’ level. Or as I’d like to say it, from an enhanced human being to a bad ass spiritual person (without having to live off a rainforest or a Buddhist temple):

1. Pause and congratulate yourself, at each milestone
   Pausing will allow you to reap some peace and appreciation out of your crazy process. This will build up your level of awareness and get you prepped for pillar 3. So go open that bottle of champaign and take the night off. Turn off your computer and your two smartphones. Throw off your air pods. At least for the night.
2. Balance things out
   You could die tomorrow, so make sure that every day stays fun and contains a bit of the values you strive for. Make a list of those (e.g. love, health, watching the stars) and include an activity around them, every day. Are you taking care of the people you love by showing them you are around? Are you taking care of your physical and mental health? Are you still having fun?
3. Base your happiness on your ‘inner home’ rather than external circumstances
   External circumstances will always go from a) in your favour to b) not in your favour. Success goes in waves, always, and for everyone, even for MZ who had to face trials and is currently struggling with parts of his behemoth. So why link all of your happiness and self-worth to external circumstances? Can’t you start loving yourself and your life in spite of your failures and shortcomings? Yes, become a bit of a Buddhist and start enjoying being alive only for the sake of being alive — rather than as a race to show how great you are at getting things done.

So alright, you chose to play along the rules of capitalism. Society got to you and you started placing money, status & a nice house over preventing a heart attack (I have nothing against nice houses). But then, at least, try to remember that it’s all just a game. I think Shakespeare said “all the world’s a stage”. In other words, have fun with it, instead of being EATEN by it, cause you will only get this second once, and this rare connection once.

This gets me to think: What future leaders will have to look like? I am guessing a bit like people who care for others, as much as they care for themselves. Any thoughts?