I have deduced the true origin of shag carpeting.

In order to understand how shag carpeting came into being, we must first journey back in time, to the 1970s. During this era, if you walked into a dance club, you would most likely see leisure suits of differing colors, cuts, and sizes.

One such L. suit owner, named David Wallenhaus, wore the best cut/color combination in the country. When the L. suit died, David left it on his bedroom floor to be buried in a motley pile.

Years later, he cleaned out his room in search for this suit. The only thing he found was his floor, but much to his amazement it seemed different. In order to slake his curiosity, he consulted his photo album. Absolutely flabergasted, David found that his room never had shag carpeting! Then he noticed the oddest thing, the carpeting was the exact same color as his lost leisure suit!

From this story I have come to the conclusion that when leisure suits are left on the floor long enough they mutate and become a cancerous tumor to your floor, otherwise known as shag carpeting. Now, there is also another theory, and it has to do with David Wallenhaus. David later made it big in the shag carpet industry. When the shag craze ended, he mysteriously disappeared. Unfortunately, there is no evidence as to how he made the carpeting or where he vanished to. My theory concerning this is: David either let L. suits mutate, because they are indestructible or he made up that whole story and just recycled leisure suits to make shag carpeting. As for his disappearance, maybe aliens took him or he’s chilling in Aruba.