What I came to understand about privilege, as a white woman
- Why it can be so hard to acknowledge it, but also how necessary it is to do so.
I pondered on how to start this text many times. Talking about this topic is not an easy thing to do, specially coming from a place of privilege. But I came to the conclusion that there's not really a perfect way to do it. The best I can do is talk about my experience with it; and how 2020 is the culmination of a long process of recognising, acknowledging, understanding and fighting against privilege — specially white privilege.
The best way to start then would be to talk a bit about myself. My name is Giovana and I'm a white latina cisgendered woman, born and raised in Brazil in a relatively stable middle class home. Both my parents are married and as the youngest child I have never faced the financial struggles my family had at the beginning. I'm fat and bisexual, have been out of the closet for some good time now. Study History at one of the top Universities on my country — totally free of charge — and am about to get my honours degree this year. Even though I'm part of the LGBTQIA+ community, my current relationship is with a cis-man, therefore we're a straight "passing" couple. And I guess that's all, I'm not really sure, but — hey — that's the main frame I believe.
When 2020 started I highly doubt that anyone would have predicted the shitstorm that was about to come. Even if we ignore the rise of political radicalism, economic crisis and other directly governmental issues that already affected us, the world is also going through a devastating global pandemic. As most people, I have never experienced anything like this. Even if we do consider the 2009 swine flu pandemic, the way covid-19 spreads rapidly and how deadly it is, makes it a completely different experience. Social isolation — or quarantine, social distancing, whatever you wanna call it — has transformed everyone’s life, in almost every possible way
I believe that most of us underestimated two things at the beginning of all this: how long it was going to take and how many would actively work against public safety. It is one thing to predict that a few conspiracy-theorists would push the numbers aside and believe it was all a lie. However the amount of people that have put others through danger in the name of “freedom of speech” is mind boggling.
I have always known that as a rule, Western society is rather self-centered, and that we don’t usually act or think as communities. But it was really surprising to see people protesting because they “want a haircut”. On the other hand, if I think about it, there's no reason to be shocked. Putting the economy above the population is what our governments do best. Not only that but the public bought into this idea a long time ago; believing one can prosper through their hard work is at the basis of Western culture. So it makes a lot of sense — within this logic, of course — protesting to “open the country” in order to save the economy instead of working on ways to stop the spread of the virus, saving lives.
Then, amongst all this, the murders of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor sparked the world-wide protests against police brutality and put the spotlight back on the Black Lives Matter movement. In the middle of a global pandemic, people took the streets to protest the brutal treatment of people of color by the state and most importantly by the police. It highlights how much people are tired of unaccountability that they are willing to put themselves in danger of contracting a deadly disease.
As most political movements nowadays, it became a hashtag and a social media trend. I’m not talking about political online activism, this is a whole different subject — that is mostly positive. What I’m talking about is the way companies (such as Tiktok and Instagram), celebrities and influencers used the BLM movement to boost their clicks, ignoring the root of the problem and using the tragic deaths of black people as a marketing tool.
What came next was a massive wave of exposing such creators and — basically — educating white people on their privilege and about when and where to speak. Now, I'm going to be honest, I can't tell for sure if this was in fact a huge countermovement or if I was exposed to it because of my own sjw, leftist, queer bubble on social media. However what I can attest to is that for the first time I began to see more and more white creators looking into educating themselves (sometimes almost to the point of harassing black creators to teach them). And that's quite overdue, but overall positive. We have to understand that not all people are educated on social-political issues, and that as rule, white society doesn't talk much about racial inequality — at least not in an educated way. So most white folk are unaware of poc's history or struggles, they blind themselves to it, because it's easier that way. In the words of Jane Elliot when talking about white people:
We don't know anything about racism. We've never experienced it. If words can make a difference in your life for seven minutes, how would it affect you if you heard this every day of your life?
What we need to understand is that this isn't a good enough excuse anymore. We live in the information age — this is 2020 — most people have access to everything they need to know in the palm of their hands. Even so, if you can't be bother to reach for an e-book, just listen to what black creators and other minorities are talking. Actively listen to them. Absorve what they're saying and try your best not to listen to the voices in your head that say "but I'm not racist", that is not the point! Even if we didn't chose to be a part of a system that oppresses people, we were born into it and we are at most times a part of the problem.
The #Blackouttuesday was a good example of misguided people wrongly using the #blm or #blacklivesmatter, overtly silencing black creators with a flood or black squares on instagram. Believe me, I’m also to blame here, I didn’t take the time to better research what the movement was and ended up committing that exact mistake. When someone corrected me on my post I quickly removed and reposted it with the correct hashtags and — gasp — I didn’t feel attacked. Because this wasn’t an attack. I made a mistake and someone pointed out for me, so I corrected myself.
I believe that this feeling of “being attacked” or “being exposed” is what stops many white folk of doing somethings they’re not completely sure is racially sensitive or correct. But, yet again, that’s not an excuse. We have to stop taking things personally. This is all a systemic issue and if someone calls you out on a racists comment or behaviour, understand this: they calling you racist is a lot better than the racism they face. Acknowledge their comment, if necessary apologize, learn and move on on not doing it again. We’re all here to learn, get over you sensitive ego. It is just as I read on a Zora article recently "(now) the need is for White people to start with humility and a willingness to be uncomfortable".
If there's a feeling of guilt that comes with being white, a feeling of shame for what our ancestors made, that should be normalised, and that feeling shouldn't stop anyone from acting against racism. I understand that we — white people — never chose to be born white, just as people of color never chose to be, it is something entirely out of our control. I also understand that you as a person, may be against all of the genocides and atrocities that white people have committed against p.o.c., but again, this is not a you problem, this is a systematic problem. And as white people we do carry the responsibilities of those that came before us, just like black people and other minorities carry the weight of centuries being oppressed on their backs.
Now, as much as we use this term around, many people don’t actually understand what a systemic issue is, so let me try and explain it. According to wikipedia (and yes, wikipedia can be a good source, fight me on this): a systemic issue is due to problems inherent in the overall system, rather than due to a specific, individual or isolated factor; a change to the structure, organisation or policies in that system could alleviate the systemic problem. What that means when talking about racism as a systemic issue is basically that society, as a whole, runs through a racist system that oppresses people of color on every level. So tackling racism can not be done by focusing on singular issues, it has to be through systemic change on a larger scale.
Recently one of my favorite youtubers MacDoesit, was reacting to other youtubers' apology videos. Specifically apologies on past racist behaviour. What he says summarises very well what I feel is the bigger issued right now:
I believe you’re not racist but that does not mean of the actions that you did were not racist actions. I can learn how to ride a bike, does not mean I’m a bicyclist; I ran before, doesn’t mean I’m a marathoner. People are very focused on that idea being racist, that the idea of doing something racist it’s completely blown out of the water. To the point that when you call someone out on doing something that was racist, they go straight into defending themselves (…). Don’t defend. Don’t excuse. Acknowledge, apologize, understand and help other people understand why. That is taking accountability. In situations like this a conversation should not be whether whether or not you are racist. The conversation should be why those certain actions or certain sayings are racist, so people that are watching that video understand those actions are racist. That you understand those actions are racist.
Again, I can't say that this is a reflection of my social media bubble, or if there has been an actual difference, but from what I've seen the BLM protests and movement has had a big number of white participants, actively working with black people. Examples of young white women using their bodies as shields on protests popped up a lot on my radar and I can't express how proud of these girls I was. Those from generation Z keep on surprising me on the best of ways. This attitude is a great example on how understanding our privilege can be used in order to help black people. These women knew that there was a significant smaller chance of police being openly violent against them, so they used their bodies as shield in order to protect protesters that did not have that same privilege. This alliance between white folk and p.o.c. is a necessity, without our action is is impossible to change the current situation. Yes, we need to give black people more visibility and the protagonism should never be someone other than them, but we have to be a part of the change. We are the majority of voters, we have the majority of representatives, we as a collective group have — unfortunately — more power than them, so if change is suppose to happen we have to act.
Something I come across multiple times when debating racism is the following: "but I suffered racism in school. I was mocked because of how pale I am.". It is frustrating to explain why someone's experiences, even if traumatic, do not equal racism. I believe the hardest thing is to make other's see past their own suffering, and understand that even if they felt horrible, what they felt can not be placed on equal grounds as racism. Even if someone bullied you on your skin tone, or on anything else for that matter (like your freckles, pimples), you did not suffered systematic oppression. Being pale does not hinder you on basic rights; like not being shot while jogging on your own neighbourhood, like Ahmaud Arber was. Racism is a systemic issue, it does not equal a singular experience.
Now, racism isn't the only systematic oppression we see today, and I feel like the existence of these other forms of discrimination confuse some people. Yes, there are different types of oppressions like homophobia, fat-phobia (or fat-shamming), ableism and sexism — just to name a few of the ones I have first hand experience — but the fact that someone might experience them, does not excuse them of racist behaviours. A gay person can still be racist, a white woman can be racist, the fact that you suffer one form of discrimination would never simply remove you from the discussion, but I see many people using it as an excuse. Oppression should not be a competition, it is not a point system! Of course, a person can suffer many different types of oppression and those do accumulate making this person's life harder. However, just because you suffer on a number of different issues, it does not mean you are incapable of still perpetuating others.
I understand that all this may seem like a lot of information at once, it can be overwhelming, but that's okay. People experience life in so many different ways that sometimes it becomes almost impossible to understand what someone else is going through. When I lived in Germany (as an exchange student) for the first time in my life I was faced with people that were so privileged that they simply couldn't comprehend my life experiences coming from a "third world country". When I explained that I couldn't possibly walk on the streets with a necklace because I would be robbed, they would react in shock and usually say something like "that just doesn't make sense". That didn’t make them bad people, they just couldn’t believe simple daily struggles I face by living in a city like Rio. When someone has a life completely deprived of some struggles, it can be close to impossible visualize a life without the comforts they're used to it. Comprehending other’s struggles can be hard for most people, but it is necessary. I also understand that some people may need more time, but that doesn't mean that they should stay silent. Take your time, but most importantly educate yourself, don't be silent, don't be complacent. On Mac's words "acknowledge, apologize, understand and help other people understand why".
