Makers pre-course. My ugly truth.
Just doing a bit of last minute reading ahead of starting at Makers tomorrow. Its been 4 weeks of remote learning in a style I’m not used to. I’m used to having a teacher; ‘sit & listen’ kind of stuff. Makers whole thing is that you aren’t learning to programme, you’re learning how to learn to programme. In reality what has this meant for me? ‘Frustration’ is the word that springs to mind. I know this is for my own good that you won’t tell me why my code won’t work, but I cant help thinking that you’re being mean.
It’s uncomfortable. My friends ask me whether I am enjoying my new course. Of course I say ‘yes’. I’m doing a whole-life 180 and effectively going new career base-jumping and taking a massive financial risk for me and my wife. The last thing I want to own up to is that I feel lost and wondering what in the hell I am doing. The moments where you get it right feel great. I’m not talking the easy tasks, but the ones you have to attempt 5o times first before they work. They do feel awesome. But then you have the taks where you do what you can with what you know, and then with what you can find, and then with what your cohort can tell you. Almost sheepishly you then dare to ask the coaches. Ive been trying to avoid this after my last question and I know the cohort fear approaching them;
“Hi, got a funny codewars case here. Passes all test but fails because one very large test case causes codewars to time out. I can’t refactor any more than I already have to reduce time. Are you able to have a look and steer me towards a way of solving it?”
I figured I would say ‘steer me’ because I know they won’t just give me the answer, but if I add that they won’t think I’m looking for an easy way out (which I definitely am). Turns out that my method of choice (‘combination’) was generating 49trillion possibilities, and the computer felt that this was on the high side. I agreed, this was a bit excessive.
My instructions:
“You’ll need to find a more efficient way to do it”.
My thought process transcribed:
“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH FML, I know that!!!!!!!!!!! I know its taking a long time, thats why I said that it was timing out! I have refactored as much as I can, I came to you when I had nothing and you send me away with the same. What kind of coding ninja do you think I am?????? I’m a beginner!!!! I haven’t even started the on site weeks yet. You want me to write a more efficient version of the method that Yukihiro Matsumoto himself saw fit to hard code into his language to do this very task. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I didn’t write that. Its my coach after all, and they did send me a link to show me how many examples my code had generated. 2.5 times the number of red blood cells in the human body, it turns out. I opted instead for; “Ok cool, cheers for the heads up, I will look for an alternative method. Thanks”. Wish I hadn’t asked.
I searched for “efficient alternatives to ‘combination’ method Ruby” among others. What I found looked like Hyroglyphs. The answer is almost certainly buried in the massive examples that the search returned but I look at it and know its beyond me. I moved on. This sucks.
I was warned I would feel like this. I was told I will get used to it, and I do still believe in the benefit of this approach. When I’m feeling rational, I agree with it. It just feels harsh now, and I guess I didn't expect it from the outset. I figured we would start as beginners, with training wheels, supportive words and someone running behind to steady you. Then, as you move forward the coaches would gradually step back and then, by the time 12 weeks were up, not only would the training wheels would be off but I’d be pulling backflips down at the skatepark. But that’s just it. It’s 12 weeks. 12 weeks isn’t a lot. I guess there isn’t time for training wheels. You’re going to have to get on this bike that you don’t know how to ride, and bloody well ride it. It does make me fear what’s coming.
What I am really looking forward to is knowing my cohort and coaches a bit better and finally getting on site. We’ve done a good job of meeting up and pairing so far and I know their frustrations and concerns are the same, but I do fall into a trap of wondering how is everyone else doing? Am I behind? Am I ahead? How does everyone else feel about saying ‘I don’t know’ or worse still, ‘I just don’t get it’? Its easy for me to wind myself up when I can’t see how everyone else is doing, and I guess that’s just me and how I get on with remote learning. This time tomorrow I will know the names and faces of the people that I will work with for the next 3 months. I will be in a structured environment and immersed in it, and I know that’s where I work better. Plus, I will be able to corner those people that know the answers and say ‘I’m going to need you to say all of that again’, knowing full well that those 4 walls mean that they can’t escape me and my endless questions. Somewhere in that building is the answer to my question and I am going to find it. Best get some kip, we are on site at 8.30 and nothing tires me out like learning.
Until tomorrow!
