Which means loving someone also means addressing some of our own emotional needs rather than dumping them on our partner. They are not “half of us,” better or not. They are not here to “complete” us or make us a “whole” person or fill the “holes” inside us that we “can’t” (won’t.) That is always, foremost, our own job. We’ve just done ourselves a disservice by perpetuating a mindset to the contrary.
If you choose to live a full-color, full contact, and fully self-expressed life, you’re going to have setbacks and disappointments. The only way to avoid disappointments is not to take any chances at all. That’s an incredibly limited way to live your life. As I said in An Audience of One, “Your circumstances can give you colors to paint with.” It’s all m…