So I hate the idea of coding, yet I love the idea of being a coder. A coder, developer, programmer, etc., however one choses to call himself is engaged in an intellectual pursuit. Mental exercise (think of brain plasticity to keep sharp), problem solving, troubleshooting, creativity, ability to see the end result and affect the product, lifestyle, etc. What’s not to like? Than why there is such a discrepancy? Because coding is a real shit.

I went to a university at sixteen to study physics, advanced mathematics school before that. I know logic and the fundamental principals of computer science. I took an accelerated course in Objective-C, thinking that should be sufficient to become a programmer. Right? I want to be a natural!

Well, I struggle with my code. It’s frustrating and often despairing. I feel dumb, incapable of matching who I am with who I am supposed to be. That, not only the lerning curve is making me miserable. I feel like an imposer, a fake.

However, such thinking is detrimental to progress. I won’t give up, I’ll code every day. Hegelian quantity into quality! Today I started another project, I want it.