The NBA as a modern day Jewish conspiracy
It’s no secret that the NBA has been run by 2 Jewish lawyers for the past 33 years. What people don’t know is that for the past 3 seasons, the NBA actually has become a reality show that caters only for Jews, speciffically to the ones who reside in the state of Israel.
Why is that? one would ask. my theory is as follows:
For over 40 years, the Jewish people (of Israel) had one thing to cling to. One shared dream that sounds as impossible as it sounds sweet — a local powerhouse proffessional basketball team — Maccabi Tel Aviv. This club has produced 6 Euroleague titles, 41 national titles (in 45 years!), heroic victories over the mighty Soviets back in the 70’s, and spectacular triumphs over NBA teams in the 2000’s (In pre season games — remember this Anthony Parker buzzer beater?
It doesn’t matter this club was probably one of the most corrupt and insane sports clubs to ever exist. Nor that most of it’s heros were American or European stud henchmen. It was all for the flag a and the nation.
In 2014, Macabbi pulled off yet another miracle beating both heavily favored CSKA Moscow and Real Madrid to win yet another Euroleague title. But the cracks were already there — A past scandal of a late team manager (that committed suicide) that allegedly ran an illegal bank/investment pyramid, Poor local talent that couldn’t compete with Europes elite, Dwindling financial resources compared to tons of cash spent in Turkey and Russia and most importantly a nasty feud with hero coach David Blatt.
This Blatt left as a winner at the end of that season but he was persona non grate for team owners.
Needless to say, Adam Silver as a smart bussinessman saw what’s coming so he stepped in to help the chosen people, in what turns out to be the most popular reality TV sports show in Israel.
So David Blatt became the coach of the Cavs, who by chance ebd up getting Lebron James back that same summer…what a coincidence (another juicy angle is that he first turned down an assistant coach offer by none other than Steve Kerr and the Warriors).
2014–2015 — Cavs are Israel’s team (and Lebron is party pooping Blatt’s ascendence)
Obviously the entire state of Israel rejoiced and route for the Cavs that season all the way to the finals, there was over 50% rating or that underdog finals run by Blatt and the Cavs, and Israeli basketball fans could overcome the mediocre to bad season Maccabi had that year.
Obviously one of the secret formulas to good reality TV is “twists in the plot” getting the viewer to route for one guy and then the other, so here’s what followed:
2015–2016 — Blatt sacked, GSW are Israel’s team (revenge on Lebron and Dave Griffin the Anti-semits)
Needless to say they blew a 3–1 lead…alas.
2016–2017 — Cavs are once again Israel’s team
In a crazy twist now GSW are the bad guys, go Lebron, you are the modern David fighting Goliath.
And now… the 4th chapter of this crazy ride-
Omri Casspi has been signed to a 1-year veteran’s minimum deal by the Warriors!
Dub nation!!!! Repeat!! Repeat!!
So to all you puzzled NBA fans, who can’t figure out where this league is going, and the crazy free agency moves, the boring fact that the Cavs and the Warriors will end up meeting Five straight times in the finals…just blame it on the Hebrews.