Things my neighbours do that aren’t annoying enough to complain about but are still really annoying…
Tom Mitchell

I wish our across the street neigh bores would move next to you. They get beer muscles and threaten to shoot us when we check for damages after they started shooting off WMDs over our house on the Fourth. You can have them. Or the ones down the street that roared by at all hours on their motorcycles at 80mph without mufflers and caused the SWAT team to pay them a visit.

In other words, you live near neighbors who ACTUALLY act sort of civilized. I don’t want them, though. Send them somewhere else, and give me neighbors I barely know are there, like the rest of our friendly neighbors whose names I still don’t know after eight years. I love them.

Like ACTUALLY (snort) missing Bush Jr. lately, I miss the neighbor who screamed at her kids now and then.

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