Successful “distance learning” requires “in-person” experiences
Online school (distance learning, homeschooling, unschooling, etc.) is a necessary reality given our “new (pandemic) normal.” Even those who never considered having their kids learn from home are now forced to embrace it.
But as parents, and learners ourselves, we must remember the importance and value of those face-to-face moments. And while learning itself doesn’t need to happen “in-person” necessarily, we need to practice and validate what we learn…in person. The people around us are not only our testing ground but they are also our measuring stick for what we have learned.
People certainly learn with other people and around other people and with the help of other people. But people are are also the reason why we learn.
Relationships — the ends and the means
I heard a story once that went something like this: A mushroom farmer was not happy with the profits from his crops. So he decided to “follow the mushrooms.” He got in his truck and literally followed the mushrooms from his farm, through various distribution channels and, ultimately, into restaurants. At every restaurant he went to there was a chef who sliced the mushrooms.
So the farmer decided to sell sliced mushrooms which increased his profits.
At the end of his journey were chefs and patrons of restaurants. A chef is in a relationship with his patrons via a service and the patrons use this service (a restaurant) as a means to expand and enjoy their own relationships. By “following the mushrooms” the farmer learned how to put his crops into context and, ultimately, provide an improved product to his community.
The world operates because of, and for, people and relationships, as the mushroom story demonstrates. Learning that embraces, reflects and results in relationships is the goal of learning; but it’s also the way to get there.
Relationships are the practice grounds for Collaboration and Communication (remember the 4C’s of 21st Century Learning). Your kid will demonstrate good collaboration by practicing collaboration. Same is true of communication. And in this context we see the importance of collaboration and communication — as both requirements for learning and the result as well.
Statistics demonstrate the power of face to face interactions in driving healthy collaboration and communication. But just step back from the data for a second: If you really needed to talk to your kid would you want to use Zoom? Of course not. Face-to-face interactions are not replaceable in a family or in a learning environment or in a business.
Friends help us; People shape us
One of the benefits of having hometown friends or a good sibling is that they can tell you “like it is.” Just when you think you have something figured out, you run it by a good friend and they give you a response you did not expect. You immediately recalibrate and consider whether to pivot or not.
Kids desperately need this. And they need it from outside their home. Better yet, they need it from the broader community. Why? Because the people who don’t know us quite as well sometimes have the biggest impact on us despite their limited role in our lives.
I remember one time when I was 13 years old. I was hanging out with two teammates between soccer games. They weren’t friends of mine, just teammates. I don’t remember the joke I tried to pull off that day but it was about M&Ms and I went all-in on it. I remember both of those teammates staring at me for a second, then bursting out laughing and telling me how dumb my joke was. They were laughing at me.
At that moment I felt shame — a feeling I didn’t like nor did I want to feel again. So I decided to pivot. I remember thinking that I would think through my jokes before I told them. I would study why certain jokes worked for some people but not others. I would study what made funny people funny. I would learn how to tell a joke.
If my brothers or best friends had done the same to me, it would have been less impactful. Spontaneous, raw feedback from people who didn’t know us well can shape us.
Kids need to experience life with people outside of their #learnfromhome environments. The broader the better. It can be structured co-ops, camps, church, sports, music, or anything else that puts them “out there” in places that might be unpredictable and random.
Winning people over
It is not good enough to simply interact with people passively, however. Kids need to be proactive, too, because each of us will find ourselves at a point where we will have to win someone over.
I remember reading an ESPN article over ten years ago about Tiger Woods. The article referenced other people, too, who we would consider “child celebrities.” The author identified a characteristic in people like Tiger Woods — people who had lived their entire life in the spotlight. They never had to win someone over.
That hit me like a ton of bricks. What an amazing observation. And what a critical part of our development as humans — the ability to win someone over.
We all need this skill in our lives. Think about dating or interactions with neighbors or earning a promotion or applying for a grant or defending a thesis. You can make this list as long as you want. The fact is, a key skill in life is the ability to win people over. And we need to regularly practice this skill with other people.
Parents need to find ways to put their kids in these positions. Maybe have your kid address their issue with a teacher directly before getting involved. Maybe have your kid talk to their coach about playing time or their role on the team. Have your kid join a robotics team or haggle on a price at a garage sale.
#LearnFromHome is here to stay. And whether your experience is a short-term one or a longer-term one, your kids will need to practice what they learn around people. They need to see the connections to people, they need to be shaped by people, and they need to learn how to win people over.
