A picture says a thousand words.

What would you tell this little girl?

GILL BARHAM
Nov 4 · 2 min read

I came across this photo from the 1960’s yesterday.

On the face of it, there is clearly much to celebrate.

The bride is stunning with the most wonderful smile…. with that “just-married glow about her” .

But what about the children? No smiles here…. I see sadness in almost every little face.

Now this could have been because they were dragged away from the party table! Or perhaps it has been a long day? Or maybe their play was interrupted? Possibly it was in response to having to be dressed-up for the occasion? They may be just shy of the camera?

These might even still be the days of the “children should be seen but not heard” culture.

My sense here though is that these childhoods were not so easy. The legacy of typically large and financially poor family up-bringings. Parents of these kids who were doing their best, but were stuck in the trauma of their own childhood dramas. Anxiety, disharmony and confusion being common threads in the households.

Why do I say this? Because this little unhappy thing is ME!

I have very few memories of childhood, the three or four that I hold are painful…. It is only in recent years that I have become aware of how my life has been affected by situations I had no control over and patterns that were within my home that made me who I am.

To this little girl, I would tell her that:

She is loved, unconditionally.

Nothing is her fault

Everything turns out well

and that her best legacy will be to provide a home that is loving, supportive, happy safe and accepting.

Oh and that she will show her own children how to smile….

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