When I woke up this morning to an article entitled, “Wear a mask while having sex with someone new, Canada’s top doctor suggests,” my jaw fell towards the earth in disbelief. My first thought was,
“Is this satire?”
Since the article appeared on the CBC, Canada’s public broadcasting company, I realized this was no joke. And still, I laughed barely believingly, revelling in the world that only seems to grow stranger and more troubled by the day.
Throughout the day, as my mind sporadically came back to this piece of mainstream news, the soft smirks and private giggles continued. What a world we find ourselves in, I thought. Laughter has not been my go-to response to the world’s challenges of 2020, so I was pleased to get a bit of comic relief amidst it all. …
Lay down your fears
let them rest
coming back home
to the pulse that’s in your body.
Can you feel it?
Can you feel yourself alive?
As the wholeness
of this quiet, humming body
without seeking an answer
that you, my dear, are enough.
this breathing body
was never anything but
Over the past couple of months, I have found myself immersed in difficult conversations that reflect the complexity of the social environment we find ourselves in. In order to give myself space to reflect with less noise, I’ve tiptoed away from Facebook as it seems to create more clutter than it does cut it. Since then I have felt a renewed sense of spaciousness within me, spaciousness enough that I have time to come back to what I love to do: to reflect and to write, and to write what I reflect upon.
One of the key topics that has captivated my inner workings over these past few weeks is that of purpose or role. This arose from a somewhat heated exchange via Facebook in which a viewpoint was raised that there are certain actions that everyone must take in order to contribute to equality (specifically racial equality in light of what has risen to the surface of collective consciousness this year). In other words, we all have a role to play and that role must look something like this or this or this. This idea challenged me to inquire more intently with my own beliefs and led to me to investigate for…
These quiet moments hold me
not unlike days before
all of what we think we know
And still, though physically I live
a step back from the hustle as prior I did,
this worldly affair stirs complacency
out of shadows so that I might see
there is another way to move,
to steer a ship through life’s hard
and smooth grooves –
a way of love, a dance of care
for earth, for self, for loved ones
because it is clear
we cannot continue with ways we did
in recent days believe to be fit.
Across the globe, millions are reverting to wartime mentality as the unknown not only persists but grows. Nations are going into lockdown, flights are being grounded, grocery stores are being depleted, and streets are emptying as people begin hunkering down at home. The response is understandable given the many questions this virus has left us with:
On top of the questions that have naturally risen, the storm of social media, social commentary, and the news has fuelled our base levels of fear and anxiety. If I were to hazard a guess (based on my personal social feeds), anywhere from 60–90% of social posts made in the past couple of weeks have been related to COVID-19. …
I’ve always had a tendency of being more in my head than my body. Existential questions flow effortlessly through me, as do emotions, contemplations, and other thought patterns.
Sensitive and introverted in nature, I have found being in this world quite challenging at times (as many us of have). It might be said that my mind is both my blessing and my curse, granting both an inner richness and a battleground to navigate.
In my late teens and early adult years, I largely sidestepped my unique composition. I tried to balance life the way everyone else did — getting 8 hours of sleep, studying and/or working during the day, and socializing or drinking during the evening. …
A lover of love and intimate relationships, I am one of the many who has fallen hopefully for the idea of there being a one-true-love for each of us. My first romantic love swooped me off my feet at the age of 15, a fall that had me relentlessly convinced we were meant-to-be for the long haul. The relationship was built on thin ice, quickly becoming too fragile and breaking just a few short months later. Though the relationship had crumbled, the beliefs I held about love harboured beneath the surface.
On one level, I came to understand quickly that love and relationships are far more complex and fragile than I would have cared to believe. And even though the idea of having a soul mate (in its traditional sense) was laid to rest, something within me continued yearning for ‘the one’. …
I once held the subconscious belief that if my practices tasted like an inspired reverie, I was successfully practicing mindfulness. Having fallen hopefully for various New Age slogans like ‘Create your reality’ and ‘Good vibes only’, I indeed believed that if I was feeling confident, empowered, and positive, I was doing something right. That mindfulness had to feel good for it to be ‘right’.
And yes, I was likely doing a few things ‘right’ in my spiritual practice even back then. However, the belief I held that mindfulness equals positivity was an illusion. …
Today was one of those days. I can’t offer you a laundry list of all the things that went wrong, because it was really only one thing. One thing that sent me into a dark hole of defeat: the laundry machine.
I returned to the laundry room three times during the first wash, irritated to find that something had stopped the cycle each time I arrived back to move to the drying stage.
I went back to our apartment once again to grab a book and my computer, vowing to stay by the machine’s side in case it choked again. It turned out to be a wise move because for some unknown reason, the machine turned itself off every ten minutes in the cycle. …
Healing the inner world is a complex and mysterious process. Sometimes, due to veils of pain, tears, and darkness, it is hard to decipher whether what we’re looking to transform is getting better or worse. Healing itself does not necessarily (and not usually) embody the lightness and radiance of our end goal, leaving us confused about the process and unsure about whether we’re even moving in the right direction.
Occasionally we catch glimpses of release, profound peace, and freedom, but these are often as transitory as our dark spells. …