Commonly debated, less commonly resolved, is the idea of whether to
put yourself first or someone else. The answer is, it depends on the
circumstance and situation. Hold off on the barrage of reasons as to why
you should always put yourself first and let me explain.

It is very commonplace in this era to be concerned about yourself, your
energy and how you’re doing. People are so eagerly anxious about their
own welfare that they often ignore that of the people around them. This
in turn has grown a rather narcissistic population (with the help of social
media). People have a habitual habit of engaging in trivial actives such
as re-blogging awareness posts and feeling elated by this, believing they
have done their part. I invite anyone reading this to truly scrutinize the
last time they went out of their way to do something for someone else
that didn’t ultimately benefit them?

For example, recently I had to be strong for someone else even though
I, myself, suffered tremendous amounts of sadness and pain. I was
strong for this person because it was better to do that for them than it
was for me to honestly express my feelings. Previous to this I’ve worked
with the elderly on home deliveries, volunteer at Christmas and
assisted friends and family through varying issues that at times have left
me very drained and exhausted. In doing so, I accept my responsibility and don’t hang around waiting for the opportunity to claim the same support back.

The times when I have put myself first, have also often been times when
it actually benefits the other person for me to do that. For example,
somebody who is not learning from their mistakes with me, has to
understand they cannot treat a person in such a way. Leaving them is
hard for you but it would benefit you both. They would (hopefully) learn a
lesson and so would you. Staying with them only hinders their growth as well as your own.

I had someone recently, assisting to mediate an ongoing conflict who
decided that they must withdraw because of their energy. Whilst I
understand this, it left the situation unresolved, and it was their choice to
become involved and half way through they decided to backtrack. This
highlights a lack of forward thinking on behalf of that individual as well as
a degree of selfishness, to assist and then depart, half way through their

I too, have left responsibilities and commitments in the past but only with
due reason and course. For example, leaving behind a friend who
became heavily affiliated with a drug culture and put me in harm’s way
more than once, who would not listen when I asked her to stop.

Distancing myself from close relations when they were hindering my own
growth. Leaving behind relationships that were not what I deserved.
However, I would always consider other humans’ feelings before going.
At least I try. I encourage you to do this as well, I also encourage you to
act in the best interests of people around you and not to concern
yourself entirely with your own energy and feelings. This in turn would
allow a less selfish culture to be born, progression to be made and
respect of each other.

Image via @tattsson