Sure, I’ve got some experience under my belt, but I’m still learning so much as I go along

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Photo by Billion Photos. Licensed from Canva Pro.

Just a few short months ago, I was waxing poetic about My 10-Month Journey from Concept to Launch with My First Children’s Book, basking in the glory of my monumental accomplishment.

At that time, I had already drafted my second book. It was going to be brilliant. I was gonna get that baby published ASAP and my personal publishing empire would be up and running in no time.

Spoiler alert! That’s not how it worked out. That’s never how it works out.

Below is a non-exhaustive but mostly complete list of the steps and transformations the book went through from the time I announced that it was drafted to now, on the eve of final publication. …


I just read my first book in this fascinating genre and I can’t stop thinking about my fantasy reverse harems

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I’m new here. Bear with me. I just Columbused this amazing sub-sub-sub-genre of romance novel and now that I’m here, I am here for it.

What’s a reverse harem?

We all know what a harem is, right? It can be anything from a sacred private space for the women of a Muslim family to a group of women dedicated to, married to, owned by one man — large-scale polygamy.

Your imagination probably takes you to the typical Western vision of the royal harems of the Middle East, where a great sultan lords over hundreds of virgins to chose from each night.

Now just tone that down a bit and mix up the gender/sexuality dynamics and you’ve got yourself a reverse harem. The modern harem concept apparently originated in manga books, where a group of admirers follows one boy or girl around. I’m not really into manga, but I love books about magic and the supernatural — so a paranormal romance was just what the doctor ordered. …


Don’t fall victim to the cleaning industrial complex — you’re better off blissfully living your life in filth

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Photo by stock_colors. Licensed from Canva Pro.

We didn’t know how good we had it wallowing around in piles of clutter, avoiding clouds of dust bunnies, and stepping around mysterious sticky patches here and there.

It all started when…

It’s true that things had gotten out of hand, but what can you do? It was pure, unadulterated 2020 around here. Still, something had to give. The pressure to clean was building more and more, until it was too much for me or my spouse to tolerate anymore.

We bit the bullet and decided to devote an entire Sunday morning to ignoring the children in order to give as much of the house as possible a good cleaning — once and for all. …


This is the story of a toddler who loved the books she destroyed and destroyed the books she loved

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Not an actual picture of my daughter, but this kid looks almost as innocent. Photo by Kolinko_Tanya. Licensed from Canva Pro.

As reported in the recent story, “Here’s What I Learned When I Interviewed My Toddler,” my 26-month-old daughter is a bit laconic. She prefers to communicate with one syllable phrases, emphatic gestures, and sound effects — usually squeals and screeches. Still, she generally gets her point across remarkably well.

Quite literally, she points insistently at the bookshelf every night at bed time. Stacks of reading material already await her within reach of her bed. But they are board books — and all the tots know, board books are for babies! …


Parents — don’t despair! Virtual learning is teaching your kids lessons they won’t learn anywhere else

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Photo by Graphicnoi. Licensed from Canva Pro.

Is virtual learning ideal? No. Obviously, it is not.

Is virtual learning necessary right now? Yes. Absolutely, it is.

Three weeks in & it’s not all bad!

Now that we are three weeks in, I am realizing it’s not all bad. In fact, there is a lot of potential for a different, but also valuable kind of learning to happen this year.

I am beyond thankful health-wise, that our schools in Dekalb county, Georgia decided to go entirely virtual to start the school year. Infection rates are way out of control. Now I just hope they have the wisdom and courage to keep the current system for the rest of 2020 at a minimum. …


Humor

Sure, online school is a vast hellscape of daily horrors, but here are the secrets to your child’s cyber survival (and yours)

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Photo by Sunny Studio. Licensed from Canva Pro.

“Let’s do online school! Kids love Zoom meetings!” Said no one, ever. Not even in their wildest, highest, most hallucinatory fever-dreams.

The current viral scourge that continues to plague large parts of the United States is to blame for virtual school. It’s been a steep learning curve for school administration, teachers, parents, and children alike.

Nobody’s happy about it — unless you count being happy about not getting sick and dying for no good reason. Maybe we’re a little happy about that.

Our second-grade son has now survived two entire weeks of online learning and I am still mostly alive to tell the tale, so I developed this handy guide. …


It’s all about staying relevant — My son’s obsession with the Smurfs got me thinking about a few new ones we need in 2020

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Image created by Gina Gallois using Canva Pro

For lack of playdates and normal kid things to do, my seven-year-old son has decided to impersonate a different Smurf each day — for 104 days. That’s how many Smurfs there are, according to his research.

As he explained his plan, I realized the Smurfs really need an update for the world we live in today.

22 New Smurfs we need in 2020

  • Essential Worker Smurf: Thank Smurf for these brave and selfless Smurfs! Where would the rest of the Smurfs be without them? Some have no other options, some volunteer in spite of the danger. They are all amazing.
  • SAHP Smurf: Who isn’t a Stay-At-Home-Parent these days? Whether by choice or by misfortune, working for an income or working to keep the kids out of the Zoom meeting, it’s a hard job! …


Parents have noticed these new, eccentric behaviors since the pandemic began

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Photo by Damedeeso. Licensed from Canva Pro.

We’ve all worried about the impact of longterm social/physical distancing on our children’s psychological and social development. How could we not? Our world has been turned upside down — worse — it’s stayed that way for a lot longer than we ever imagined.

I have noticed my seven-year-old, who was already high on the weird-o-meter and proud of it, becoming even more of an oddball. Naturally, I wondered how other people’s kids were reacting.

In a totally non-scientific research project, I polled parents on Facebook about strange new habits their kids have developed since the quarantining and social distancing began.

You know your kids are getting weirder when…

  • Underwear is obviously the new uniform: It used to be just on the weekends, but now it’s rare to see them in more than one small scrap of clothing. …


An etiquette guide for these modern times

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Waste not, want not, right?

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!

More and more of us are acutely aware of the amount of things we buy, consume, and throw away. We pay attention to packaging and the number of plastic bags we’re bringing home. We do our best not to produce needless waste and keep excess junk out of our houses.

In an effort to have less stuff, I try really hard to avoid pointless purchases, but some particular items are, shall we say, a delicate matter?

Mentioning my unmentionables

I’m talking about underwear, ok? Undergarments. Underpants. Skivvies. Drawers. Lingerie.


I was against mask wearing, too, till I discovered the true liberation hidden behind three layers of fabric

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Pay no attention to the woman behind the mask

As any self-respecting anti-masker will tell you, mask requirements are only for those who hate our freedom and want us to choke on our own carbon dioxide. But let me tell you, if you’ve never gone grocery shopping in a mask, you are missing out on some of the sweetest freedoms in existence!

Like many of you, I did NOT want to wear a mask. Masks are hot, confining, and claustrophobic. They make you look like you escaped a construction site or an operating room and they make communication more difficult.

But, if mask-wearing is the new face adornment of force in public for the foreseeable future, I might as well embrace it. …

About

Gina Gallois

Children’s book author, possum propagandist, feminist pirate, over-thinker, lover of audiobooks. She/her. Learn more & buy my books: bit.ly/ginagalloisauthor

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