Some notes on etiquette — because your virtual fitness instructor is a person, too!
Dear Online Fitness Patrons,
It’s us, your ever-present, eternally patient, always available virtual fitness instructors. You’ve been relying heavily on us for the last year, what with it being dangerous to go literally anywhere.
We’ve done our best for you. You needed us and we stepped up to the task of keeping you active, buff, fit, or maybe just not totally sedentary during this difficult time of plague.
We created new content!
We fulfilled your every whim and desire for new classes, like “Help me fit in my jeans again booty burner” and “Everything hurts because I work from home 12 hours a day…
I don’t know about you, but I need a daily break from consciousness to survive parenting right now
For the last 10 months, I haven’t done a whole helluva lot outside of my home. I haven’t done a whole helluva lot period. Have you? Has anyone? Days are nearly indistinguishable and require consultation with the lock screen of my phone several times each day.
Days melt into weeks melt into months and here we are, still at home. My husband, our two children, and I are not doing much, just trying to stay alive and healthy.
Help! I die
And yet, I’m barely holding my own. Honestly, I am exhausted. From all the intense doing of nothing in particular. I think…
Sure, I’ve got some experience under my belt, but I’m still learning so much as I go along
Just a few short months ago, I was waxing poetic about My 10-Month Journey from Concept to Launch with My First Children’s Book, basking in the glory of my monumental accomplishment.
At that time, I had already drafted my second book. It was going to be brilliant. I was gonna get that baby published ASAP and my personal publishing empire would be up and running in no time.
Spoiler alert! That’s not how it worked out. That’s never how it works out.
Below is a non-exhaustive but mostly complete list of the steps and transformations the book went through from…
I just read my first book in this fascinating genre and I can’t stop thinking about my fantasy reverse harems
I’m new here. Bear with me. I just Columbused this amazing sub-sub-sub-genre of romance novel and now that I’m here, I am here for it.
What’s a reverse harem?
We all know what a harem is, right? It can be anything from a sacred private space for the women of a Muslim family to a group of women dedicated to, married to, owned by one man — large-scale polygamy.
Your imagination probably takes you to the typical Western vision of the royal harems of the Middle East, where a great sultan lords over hundreds of virgins to chose from each night.
Don’t fall victim to the cleaning industrial complex — you’re better off blissfully living your life in filth
We didn’t know how good we had it wallowing around in piles of clutter, avoiding clouds of dust bunnies, and stepping around mysterious sticky patches here and there.
It all started when…
It’s true that things had gotten out of hand, but what can you do? It was pure, unadulterated 2020 around here. Still, something had to give. The pressure to clean was building more and more, until it was too much for me or my spouse to tolerate anymore.
We bit the bullet and decided to devote an entire Sunday morning to ignoring the children in order to give as much of the…
This is the story of a toddler who loved the books she destroyed and destroyed the books she loved
As reported in the recent story, “Here’s What I Learned When I Interviewed My Toddler,” my 26-month-old daughter is a bit laconic. She prefers to communicate with one syllable phrases, emphatic gestures, and sound effects — usually squeals and screeches. Still, she generally gets her point across remarkably well.
Quite literally, she points insistently at the bookshelf every night at bed time. Stacks of reading material already await her within reach of her bed. But they are board books — and all the tots know, board books are for babies! …
Parents — don’t despair! Virtual learning is teaching your kids lessons they won’t learn anywhere else
Is virtual learning ideal? No. Obviously, it is not.
Is virtual learning necessary right now? Yes. Absolutely, it is.
Three weeks in & it’s not all bad!
Now that we are three weeks in, I am realizing it’s not all bad. In fact, there is a lot of potential for a different, but also valuable kind of learning to happen this year.
I am beyond thankful health-wise, that our schools in Dekalb county, Georgia decided to go entirely virtual to start the school year. Infection rates are way out of control. Now I just hope they have the wisdom and courage to keep the current system for the…
Humor
Sure, online school is a vast hellscape of daily horrors, but here are the secrets to your child’s cyber survival (and yours)
“Let’s do online school! Kids love Zoom meetings!” Said no one, ever. Not even in their wildest, highest, most hallucinatory fever-dreams.
The current viral scourge that continues to plague large parts of the United States is to blame for virtual school. It’s been a steep learning curve for school administration, teachers, parents, and children alike.
Nobody’s happy about it — unless you count being happy about not getting sick and dying for no good reason. Maybe we’re a little happy about that.
Our second-grade son has now survived two entire weeks of online learning and I am still mostly alive…
It’s all about staying relevant — My son’s obsession with the Smurfs got me thinking about a few new ones we need in 2020
For lack of playdates and normal kid things to do, my seven-year-old son has decided to impersonate a different Smurf each day — for 104 days. That’s how many Smurfs there are, according to his research.
As he explained his plan, I realized the Smurfs really need an update for the world we live in today.
22 New Smurfs we need in 2020
- Essential Worker Smurf: Thank Smurf for these brave and selfless Smurfs! Where would the rest of the Smurfs be without them? Some have no other options, some volunteer in spite of the danger. They are all amazing.
- SAHP Smurf: Who isn’t a Stay-At-Home-Parent these…
Parents have noticed these new, eccentric behaviors since the pandemic began
We’ve all worried about the impact of longterm social/physical distancing on our children’s psychological and social development. How could we not? Our world has been turned upside down — worse — it’s stayed that way for a lot longer than we ever imagined.
I have noticed my seven-year-old, who was already high on the weird-o-meter and proud of it, becoming even more of an oddball. Naturally, I wondered how other people’s kids were reacting.
In a totally non-scientific research project, I polled parents on Facebook about strange new habits their kids have developed since the quarantining and social distancing began.
You know your kids are getting weirder when…
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Gina Gallois
Children’s book author, possum propagandist, feminist pirate, over-thinker, lover of audiobooks. She/her. Learn more & buy my books: bit.ly/ginagalloisauthor
