A Bartender Spills All
What years behind the bar has taught me about people.
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Few jobs are like that of being a bartender. We’re there on your Friday nights when you’re having fun. We’re there on your Tuesday nights when you’re having a bad day. We get to party with you but we also get to know you personally. As a bartender, I’ve met and formed friendships with some of the sweetest people I know. And of course, I’ve met some of the worst. After several years of late nights at the bar, there’s a lot to account for. Not just the money, but the lessons. Here are seven different lessons being a bartender has taught me.
1) People act like your best friends until you hand them the bill.
It’s all fun and games until it’s time for the bill to get paid. No, seriously. Some people come into the bar, drink like there’s no tomorrow, and expect discounts. Lines range from “I know the owner” to “but I brought in a group of people with me.” Truth be told, bartenders don’t care who you know. We know the owners too, and trust me when I say we’d get fired for giving out drinks. If the owners want someone taken care of, they tell us in advance. And sure, we appreciate your business. But the five people you brought in during happy hour won’t make or break the bar. So, don’t bring in a group of people and think that you deserve a discount. You don’t. Nothing makes a bartender not want to give out a discount more than someone who feels entitled to one.
2) People can suck. Like, really suck.
In this industry, I’ve encountered horrible people. People who down a whole bottle of whiskey and then claim they’ve only had two drinks. People who spend the whole night at the bar and then call their bank the next day and claim a fraudulent charge. People who refuse to tip because “they don’t believe in it.” People who ask for sangria and when it’s made, they tell you they don’t like wine. People who swear up and down that if they ever ran a bar, they’d do it ten times better. Some people just enjoy making other people’s lives difficult. Unfortunately, a lot of those people end up drinking at bars and bartenders have to be the ones to endure them.
3) But they can also be really cool.
A lot of patrons are like those mentioned above, but every once in a while, we come across customers who revamp our faith in humanity. People who will wait patiently for their drinks and understand that you aren’t ignoring them, you’re just busy. People who offer to buy us shots because they know we have a long night ahead of us. People who come in and actually converse with you. People who tip extra just because they appreciate you. People who actually become our friends and not just our customers. These are the type of people bartenders give discounts to because we truly appreciate them.
4) The type of drink you order says a lot about you.
If you come to a bar and order a Sex on the Beach, you probably don’t actually enjoy the taste of alcohol and are probably just a social drinker. If you come to a bar and order an extra dry gin martini with an olive, you most likely really enjoy the taste of alcohol and also enjoy getting banged up. Nothing wrong with either. You like what you like. Years in this industry has also taught me that people who order Sex on the Beach don’t usually hang out with people who order extra dry gin martinis. Birds of a feather flock together rings true at bars, too.
5) Everyone has problems.
And I mean everyone. Even the people who make it seem like they have everything together. In fact, these are the people with the biggest problems. A lot of times customers will party hard with their friends on a Friday. But when Monday rolls around, they come in alone and confide in us all the problems they are going through. This is one of the most important lessons I’ve learned while bartending. It reminds me to always be kind because we truly don’t know what another person is going through.
6) Nothing is as it seems.
I’ve had customers come to the bar wearing the nicest suits and the flashiest watches. When the drinks start to kick in and the truth starts coming out is when I find out they’re actually going through financial hardships. I’ve had couples who look happily married wait for their partner to go to the bathroom to advise me to “never get married.” Bartending has taught me that although things may look good on stage, behind the scenes shows a completely different truth.
7) Liquid courage exists.
This is especially true now that I’m working at a karaoke bar. People usually come in extremely shy and unprepared to go on stage and sing. After a few drinks though, they build up the courage and believe themselves to be rock stars. This applies not only for karaoke courage, but courage in general. I’ve seen customers really shy and keeping to themselves at the beginning of the night. But after a few rounds, they befriend the entire bar. I’ve learned that there’s something about alcohol that gives us a sense of confidence we would not have otherwise. This is not to say that this confidence comes with no consequence. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Point is that when we drink, we believe ourselves to be the best dancers, the best singers, the best lovers, the best person.
Bartending is a job often sought out for and one that I feel lucky to have. As overwhelming and stressful as it can be, it’s a job I truly enjoy. It allows me to have fun while simultaneously making money. It is a job that has introduced me to great people and lifelong friends. It’s a job that has taught me lessons that I will be able to apply throughout life. The good and the bad, cheers to the people I’ve met. Cheers to the lessons I’ve learned. Cheers to bartending. Now, lets go have a drink.
