Introducing two people to one another that might get along well is probably one of the most powerful things you could ever do.

Maybe they end up making business with each other. Maybe they will both get rich. Maybe they become friends for life. Or maybe they end up making love. And babies.

What a wonderful story…

But making good intros is an art. I had to learn this art the hard way myself.

Not too long ago I was convinced that every intro I make will result in great things.

Marriages. Millions. Friendships. You name it. I was sure that everything I did would create value.

Until I started getting intros as well.

Bad intros. Horrible intros. Really, really shitty ones.

Turns out that in the past I also did many shitty intros. In case I made a shitty intro to you, sorry for that! I didn’t know better..

But how the hell can making an introduction be shitty? How is it possible that this will not result in people falling in love with each other and making babies?

Well, it’s actually very easy.

If you don’t ask both of them. If you only ask one person and don’t ask the other person.

One person might be super interested in getting an introduction to the other person. But as a matter of fact the other person might not be interested in getting to know the other person at all!

How come?

Because the other person might be very, very busy. Or the other person is not interested at all in getting to know the other person. Or whatever reason there might be. We humans are a very unpredictable and weird bunch..

So before you make an introduction you should find out whether or not both parties are really interested in getting to know the other person.

If you’re not putting in the effort of getting in touch with both of them upfront and ask them seperately whether or not they would be interested in getting to know the other person you’re just being lazy.

You’re not doing your homework.

Even worse, you make an intro just because the other person might be relevant to you and you want to help out so you get good karma points on your karma account. Worst. Idea. Ever.

Here’s the thing you might not have properly thought about. I didn’t either..

If you didn’t research properly, didn’t ask both parties for permission and simply continue making shitty intros you might kill your network.

You might lose all your karma points. Tru story and here’s why:

I might not be interested in getting in touch with that person (for whatever reason).

But because you put me in CC and because I care about you, I feel like I have to reply. I don’t want you to be upset. I don’t want to destroy my network. So I reply and do something I actually don’t want to do.

In a worst case scenario I don’t follow up at all. Or I follow up once and then I just stop.

This will not only piss me off but it will also piss off the other person because you made a bad intro.

Because the person you recommended doesn’t respond. That means that you’re not in control of your own network. Which means that it’s probably not safe to do stuff with you.

Congratulations, you now pissed off two people.

Not only that but you started ruining your network.

I know that’s pretty hard to digest because all you wanted to do is to help out two people.

But in the end you’ll be the guy standing naked in front of a huge crowd and everybody is laughing at you. That’s exactly how I felt when I realized that I’ve made shitty introductions myself in the past.

So do yourself a favor and try to not use the power of introductions to destroy your own network by being a lazy bum. By not asking both parties for permission.

Instead, use the power of intros to introduce two people that might be perfect business partners. Use it to create millions. To create friendships. To create marriages. Babies..

But first of all ask both involved parties and tell them why you connect them, where you see synergies or why they might get along well with each other.

And that’s how you start building an empire, instead of ruining it…

Feel free to also connect with me on Facebook here or on Twitter: @girard_yann

Photo by Nasa Robonaut