The Crying Game
So my daughter is ‘sensitive’ meaning she is deeply emotional and well she cries…a lot. She cries when she’s frustrated, she cries when she wants something and just can’t quite get the words out. She cries when she’s hungry and when she would like quiet time or of course when shes tired and ready for bed.
I try and try, I talk to her saying ‘your crying hurts my ears can you please stop?’ And I do say please a lot with her, perhaps she senses my pain and my wanting to her to just stop that she keeps it up. I’ve been stern saying, ‘that’s enough!’, I’ve also let her have her moment and try to be understanding to her. Still she cries.
As a woman who’s always been focused on my career, and had never (and will never) give up. The same is said for being a mom, which is good since there really is no such thing as quitting. That being said, I’ve switched my focus from trying to be understanding to now giving her the tools to ask for help.
I’ve started to teach her that exact word. Help. Pretty easy and oh so powerful. It’s already working amazingly and it’s only the first week. She’s finding times when she would normally get frustrated because she strives for perfection, she is now asking ‘help’ and then ‘please’. No cries. I’ve also started to notice my saying something that is a no without saying the word itself she’s much more receptive too all again without crying. I do expect this to change, but I right now I feel much more positive about giving my daughter the tools to get help instead of allowing her perfectionist side not prevent her from enjoying the moment because she didn’t do it right the first time.
Reflecting on a difficult week in toddlerhood, career and wife with this win in the forefront really helps put things into a much better perspective. This to me is just part of that joy of parenthood, small and powerful wins.