How to resolve a girl fight: Self awareness

So you’ve had an argument with your girl that’s got out of hand. But you’re stubborn as shit and now it’s totally escalated. You can’t turn back now and you sure as hell ain’t saying sorry. Dam, you miss her. Why can’t she just see your point of view?

This can be resolved.

Time to step back. Take a breath. And don’t be within a 5 mile radius of WhatsApp. You don’t want to say something you’ll regret.

Three steps to forgiveness

So I’m not going to say you’re right and I’m not going to say she’s right (I already feel involved). Sometimes you can be so convinced you’re right that you get restless, justifying your own actions, waiting for her to back down. With two strong-headed women this can go on… and on… and on.

Clear your mind. Approach it from the outside and try and see it from her point of view.

Let’s consider a made-up and common scenario; so you’ve said something she’s interpreted as negative towards her. In your defence, you know you didn’t mean it that way and you think she’s totally over-reacted.

We need to consider three things here. Context. Perspective. Judgement.

Context

What is the context? Let’s say, your friend has just had a big life change.

Perspective

How might she feel? She’s more sensitive than usual. This could also mean she’s already questioning herself.

Judgement

Could you have judged the situation differently? You could have re-worded your comment or re-considered timing.

Having the ability to answer the above three questions leads to self awareness. Sometimes, you won’t agree on everything and so it’s important to be completely impartial and admit fault where necessary. Allowing yourself to see it from each perspective without bias helps you both to admit your wrongs and move on.

Have self awareness, not self doubt

There is a fine line between self awareness and self doubt. Self awareness is something you achieve from objectively assessing a situation and recognising potential errors in your judgement or behaviour. This happens on your terms. It takes a strong person to admit they’ve made a mistake and a stronger person to accept this and make it right.

On the other hand, self doubt is born out of manipulation from another party. Self doubt is when you are told something so much, you begin to question yourself. Self doubt happens because of someone else’s lack of self awareness. Never let someone allow you to doubt yourself. A friend who makes you feel this way only brings negativity to your door. Reassess that friendship.


Arguments between girlfriends are exhausting. A lot of the time, we’re too scared to say what we really mean and we harbour the angst because we don’t want the drama. This eventually spills out anyway. The trick is to be calm, be honest and consider the three steps to forgiveness. If it is a friendship worth saving, you’ll both be sat in bed hungover, sharing a packet of Supernoodles and laughing over last night’s drunk texts in no time.