10 Thomas Jefferson Quotes Improved by the Word “Schlong”

“I hold it, that a little schlong, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.”

“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who schlongs nothing but newspapers.”

“No free man shall ever be debarred the use of schlong.”

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Schlong! Schlong will delineate and define you.”

“And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away all this artificial scaffolding. Schlong.”

“We in America do not have government by the majority. We have government by the schlongs who participate.”

“The schlong is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.”

“I like the schlong of the future better than the schlong of the past.”

“The God who gave us life, gave us schlong at the same time.”

“What country before ever existed a century and half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them schlong. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the schlongs of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure.”

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.