A Guided Visual Meditation of Jared Kushner Being Swallowed Alive by Quicksand


Find your seat.

Relax your hands, back and shoulders.

Release any stiffness you’ve built up in your neck and jaw.

Bring awareness to any tension you might store in the tiny muscles your face, around your mouth, your eyes. Breathe in. Let it go.

Take a deep breath. Notice the sensation of breath in your nostrils, notice as the air passes through to your lungs and into your heart. Hold it there, reflecting on conscious pause, the empty space you hold in your chest.

Marinate in this pause and then release.

Close your eyes.

Take one more deep breath and let go.

Imagine you are now walking through a dense jungle forest. The air is hot, moist and humid and the ground is misty with morning fog. The sky screams with the sounds of wild birds.

Beathe in deeply the thick jungle air. Listen to the birds.

Suddenly, you hear a man screaming, “HELP! HELP ME!”

You race towards the voice and you see — yes! — it’s Jared Kushner being swallowed alive by quicksand.

The sand is level to his neck. His face is red and his voice is hoarse from all the screaming.


The moving sand is beautiful as it fills in around his neck. You pause to reflect on the gorgeous audacity of the earth reclaiming its refuse.

You take in another deep breath of the oxygen-rich air. Nearby, you see some monkeys. They, too, are beautiful, bringing their loving awareness to each other as they share their morning bounty.

Jared is crying now, sobbing hysterically as the sand fills his mouth.

You breathe in, again.

As the sand closes over his face, the silence is loud.

For a moment, the jungle is quiet.

Marinate in the pause.

Breathe in.

Breathe out gratitude and concentrate on setting your intention for the day.

Holly Wood

Written by

Documentarian of the absurd.

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