A Tale of Two Fucking Stupid Hats

Democrats threw a stupid fucking hat into the ring. The “AMERICA IS ALREADY GREAT HAT,” presumably their counter-offensive to Donald Trump’s “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN” hat.

Which misses the point by atmospheric proportions.

Trump’s hat is offensive because it presumes that American history was somehow better for the vast majority of Americans than is the present.

Which is ignorant.

Of a lot of things.

Chief among of them being America’s documented legacy of writing racism and sexism into our policies, pursuing a military strategy of antagonize-then-colonize and bringing a state-finance nexus into existence that has allowed itself to fester over every aspect of American daily life that our government caters to the economy before our own fucking wellbeing.

American history has been nothing if not a slow climb out of a shitpit of our own design. Trump’s hat pretends we can go back in time and find some blissful America where things didn’t suck for pretty much everyone. Which is just stupid.

But then the Democrats introduce this hat which says “AMERICA IS ALREADY GREAT,” which in my humble fucking opinion is even more ignorant than Trump’s hat. Because the Democrat hat is the sartorial equivalent of sticking wax in your ears to every criticism being lodged at Trump and declaring yourself as being somehow above the fray.

As if tipping the waitress makes up for grabbing her ass.

As if blacking out absolves you of the horrendous shit you said while you were drunk.

As if denying the assault saves the victim.

In short, this hat is gaslighting fuckery.

If Trump’s hat says I’m an idiot, than this hat screams I’m an asshole.

So, thumbs up, you self-congratulatory shits. You had one job and that was to not be worse than Donald Trump and you fuck it up in such a symbolically meaningful way I had to rant about it solid for the past ten minutes.

But whatever. My daddy’s not a donor so what do you care.

Here’s my hat, designed by Kevin Marks.