Election 2020: Could We Not?

Holly Wood

Let me propose something absolutely ridiculous: let’s abolish the Presidency in 2020.

Instead of wasting the next 21 months of our lives reliving the absurd carnival of 2016, let’s just abolish the Presidency.

I mean, yes, I totally understand that this would require us to effectively scrap the Constitution and start all over again, but would that really be such a bad thing? The thing literally legalized slavery. It can’t be that sacred.

To be really, extremely, gut-wrenchingly honest: getting excited about a Presidential campaign is a socially acceptable way of getting excited about Nationalism. The President is a figurehead of American imperialism. The function of the President is not to be a savior of Western democracy or the working class. The everyday job of the President is to carry out the war crimes necessary to maintain an imperialist state.

The executive mandate of the President is to carry out an imperial agenda that bombs brown people into the sand for the benefit of capitalist oligarchs. It’s the alchemy of turning the bodies of dead children into yachts and trust funds.

Every time you say, “I’m really excited for X to be President,” what you’re tacitly saying is this: “I’m really excited for X to be the person in charge of killing hundreds of thousands of kids to keep domestic oil prices low.” Yeah, it sucks, but that’s where we’re at.

In 2016, I was most definitely what you might call a Bernie Bro. And because I was (is?) a Bernie Bro, I got a lot of criticism from Hillary supporters who warned me that I was too much an “ultraleft purist” and that my vocalized support for Bernie Sanders somehow threatened the viability of the only Democratic candidate with a real chance at winning.

But I didn’t give a fuck then. And I sure as hell don’t give a fuck now.

We are 622 fucking days out from the election. People hate the incumbent. Every reason for curbing my dissent truly no longer applies.

We on the Left can afford to be honest. Saying the truth out loud isn’t going to jeopardize the ascension of a lesser evil. We have over a year to spraypaint the truth on every inch of surface we can find.

And here’s my truth:

There has never been a good President. There have only been murderer Presidents. There has never been an exception. There will never be an exception. The function of the of the President is to bureaucratize the American murder complex.

Abolish it.

Holly Wood

Written by

Documentarian of the absurd.

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