It’s Absurd How Much We Suck as a Nation

I’ve been writing on Medium for a year now. I guess because of how difficult it is to unsubscribe from accounts on here, you’re stuck with me until either I run out of steam or we hit a wall.

And as the old saying goes: you have to live every day as if you’re not going to drive a train full of people into a wall.

Anyway, my 31st birthday is coming up. And for my birthday I’d like you to help me with a project.

What’s my birthday project?

I’d like you to write a letter to America’s children apologizing for how much we suck as a nation.

That’s right: you.


Because we’re all sick participants in this nightmare nonsense parade.

Everyone has shat on the American floor.

So for my birthday, I’d like to get as many people as possible to do me a solid and apologize to the nation’s children for humiliating them in front of all of their cool international friends.

I’d like to get as many adults as possible to explain to these poor children that we’ve learned from our mistakes and are going to try to be better grownups going forward.

America, these kids think we’re drunk at the wheel.

So for my birthday, I’d like to know: what are you going to say to your children? How are you going to explain America to your kids?

What sense have you made of how we got to this place?

Who do you believe is accountable?

What do you think it’s going to take for us to get better?

What’s the prognosis, doc?

800 words in the space provided below.