Those of you who follow me on Snapchat know about my recent conversation with my mom:

Mom: Are you seeing anyone?
Me: No
Mom: Are you gay?

Sorry ladies, I’m not. I gave it some thought. I’m in an okay place– career-wise. I’m in my mid-twenties, had some experiences, and live in one of America’s most good looking cities. The obvious choice is Tinder, but I’m too hipster for that. So I start digging around online for the latest in dating apps. Download. Create a profile. Check out some hunks.

My tinder profile.

Only problem…I’m too ahead of the game. Many times I found myself being one of the very few users in my area. If I’d expand my geographical horizons it just felt like any other place on the internet. So that got boring (and pointless) fast. Fine. Tinder it is. Download. Create a profile. Check out some…holy shit these guys are hot!

We know how it works. You see someone you like, you swipe, and sometimes you match. So here I am swiping and I’m up to my first 5 matches in an hour. Not gonna lie…feeling pretty good about myself. Except, I’m not sure what happens next. Do they talk to me? Should I express my boldness and feminist ways by confidently introducing myself? I say hi to a couple of guys…no response. Welp! This sucks.

We had the cutest Canadian couple staying in our Airbnb room and I asked them how they met. Low and behold…Tinder! I’ve heard of these success stories before, and I wasn’t surprised about how they met, but the timing of it all seemed funny. Anyway, I picked their brain about tips and best practices. Then got back to swiping. And swiping I did.

Two days in and I’m at 100 matches. To be honest, I was feeling pretty proud about my match list.

I was very selective in my process. I swear I had San Diego’s top 1% of Tinder literally at the palm of my hand. Okay…that’s a bit dramatic but we both swiped for each other so that’s something. At this point, I didn’t bother with starting the conversation. Things were busy.

I hated how quickly some guys would ask me to hang out. I get that’s the end goal here…but do you even care to find out if YOU will like me? Some were turned off by my immediate no. Others were more understanding and patient. Some were funny, some were boring (which made me come off as boring!) and others used me as their personal Yelp guide. I get that you’re new to town, but asking me about good places around town to visit is something you can easily Google. Asking me what MY personal favorites are…well now we’re talking.

By the end of the week, I’m consistently messaging with a select few. There’s one intriguing bachelor who I decide has made the cut and we go on a date. Out of nearly 150 guys…this one should consider himself lucky. Just saying.

Looking back at my strategy, the conversations I had, and the nice date that turned out from all of this. I get it. I get why so many are on Tinder and how no up-and-coming app can even compare. It’s a numbers game. I’m not quite ready to jump back into the Tinder jungle so I’ve had to say goodbye and uninstall the app. Goodbye to the nomadic backpackers, the sexy doctors, the flawless surfers, and the cute researchers.

If I end up back on the platform, I’ll be less experimental and stick to a sub-3 digit match list. For now, it’s nice to know that this large pool of date-worthy guys is not too far fetched. If anything, that might give my mom some peace of mind knowing that it’s not because I’m gay that I’m single, it’s because I just haven’t swiped for mister right.

Originally published at on August 16, 2015.

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