About Me — Jennifer Jones
Writer. Teacher. Singer. Lover of life and sunshine.
I’m a huge fan of intros because I love hearing why folks started telling their stories. I’ve written for myself for years and have my BA and MA in English. I once had dreams of being a novelist or an editor, but I got into teaching college English (freshman composition).
I started sporadically writing on a little blog I called The Downtown Kid when I moved to downtown Memphis in May of 2017 as a means of therapy around an extremely traumatic relationship I was in at the time, one that would drag me down far lower than I could ever imagine.
Through actual therapy and with the help of the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families step program, I’ve come to realize so much about myself and how I was vulnerable to falling into that relationship, how I was his narcissistic supply because I was an empathetic codependent.
Between learning what I’ve learned and the encouragement of my inner circle, I’m inspired to share my stories in the hopes that I can help even one person get through (and out of) a toxic relationship. And while I also love to share fun things and life hacks, the up-and-down journey of recovery from trauma-bonding and years of mental/verbal/emotional abuse will likely remain my central focus.
Why I Write
- I write because childhood trauma led to grown-up trauma and talking it out is therapeutic.
- I write because my friends have told me for years that I need to write a book with all the crazy stories I have and the (often unstable) people who’ve come in and out of my life and helped me write them.
- I write because I’m pretty sure I’ve lived through all 9 levels of hell and I’m doing the work to rebuild myself. If sharing this journey with someone gets them through one more day, then it’s worth every minute.
Interesting Tidbits about Me
I have this weird “gift.” If I could monetize it, I’d be rich. But I do this thing where I can connect people. It’s bizarre. People gravitate to me for various reasons, like I have a sign on my head, and I just find this way of being a conduit for them to connect to one another.
For the most part, it’s a good thing. I’m most proud of how an impromptu girls night with about 5 girls in 2019 has turned into a private online group of about 400 women (as of publishing), most of whom I know personally, from all walks of life. This group is full of women lifting up other women, one of my favorite calls to action.
I’m a narcissistic abuse survivor, and I write about how recovery is going. This keeps me accountable for my therapy homework and emotional processing as well as helps others who relate. Most people don’t know what’s going on when dealing with those people— just like I didn’t — because you just can’t imagine how someone who says they love you can be so deliberately cruel.
I still can’t unsee my ex narc smirking with delight because I flinched the first time he called me a “piece of shit.” And I’m lucky; I’ve had two of these monsters in my life! #expertlevel
For ease of writing, I combine the stories around them because they were basically the same man. Neither has been officially diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder but have the traits everyone looking for help calls “narcissistic.” I even had one of them tell me once that he saw more of those traits in himself than he cared to admit to. They are more professionally known as Cluster B personality types if you haven’t looked into that before.
I’m recovering from love addiction, a coping mechanism I developed from childhood trauma. I’ve been married and divorced 3 times, I have a broken engagement in between marriages 2 and 3 (narcissist monster #1), and I left husband 3 because wannabe diamond #5 strolled along in his own unhappy marriage and talked a big game.
Let’s just say that I’ve got a pretty unique take on relationships at this point, having blown up all of my adult ones except the one that destroyed me in the end (narcissist monster #2). Good news is I finally found a healthy, secure man who has the kindest eyes and biggest heart I’ve ever met, but it took a LOT of work to get to his level!
I love to sing and used to front a popular cover band in Memphis. The death of that project is a long story. The better story is that I’m currently working with a new group of extremely talented musicians, and I’ll see you back out there soon!
I spent my time singing in that band not knowing that I was codependent, which led to giving a lot of my energy away to folks I didn’t actually want to because I didn’t know what a boundary was.
Now that I do know about boundaries and how to set them without feeling guilty about it, I’m a pro. It’s been hard work, but it’s totally worth it. I can’t wait to see how it ups my stage game.
I love living in downtown Memphis. From the walkability to the great food to the Mississippi River sunsets, it’s the best place I’ve ever lived. What I love most about it is all the amazing people I’ve gotten to meet — all ages, colors, backgrounds, religions, and stories. I can go downstairs and have friends all over my little neighborhood. These are the great types that I can be silly with as well as talk about serious issues with, and I’ve learned so much from them all.
Part of my blog, The Downtown Kid, is telling stories about lessons I’ve learned on the streets of downtown Memphis. I try and feature local places when they fit into the story. I try to be out often so that I can hear the story in the first place. It’s just a wonderful place that’s changed my entire life. I hope you’ll come play with us if you’re ever in town.
I lost my father to COVID in May 2020. I still don’t know what to do with that information. I still haven’t processed it. I’m pretty sure I’ll be writing more on that soon, but this is kinda where I’m at right now, even all this time later.
I love astrology. I could go on for days here, but the simplest version is that I’m a hardcore Virgo (sun sign) with extra Virgo splattered all across my chart. I overthink everything and I don’t like to make mistakes or let people down. I’m a perfectionist — I’ll read this at least 50 times before I ever hit “Publish.”
I worry all the time if I’m good enough while simultaneously not caring for a hot second what anyone else thinks of me. It’s my own version of “good enough” that I’m trying to live up to. I have extremely high expectations. Want it done right? Give it to a Virgo to do.
A little Scorpio rising makes me struggle to find balance with the opposing thoughts and feelings going on upstairs at Virgo-warp speed. If I love you, I love you fully. I believe my Scorpio rising is why I want to share my stories of healing because
“The healing you undertake for yourself allows you to help others face their own darkness.” ~ Molly Hall, liveabout.com
And I want to help.
My Gemini moon is a pain in my ass. It makes me scatterbrained which pairs oh-so-well with that overthinking Virgo. It also makes me suck at emotional processing, or rather at wanting to process emotions. My analytical Virgo wants to understand, so I’m a champ at therapy. My Gemini moon makes me a transparent sharer. I’ll tell you my darkest stories moments after meeting you.
Being ruled by all this Mercury makes my love of words make total sense. It also makes sense that I have thrived as an English teacher, writing professor, singer (think “shaking hands and kissing babies” every gig), and just generally being perfectly comfortable speaking in front of others.
I have to talk through my thoughts in order to understand them sometimes, even. Thank goodness for some great friends who’ll just let me rattle on at a mile a minute. Love my peeps!
Guess that’s a good run down!
I love this place because I genuinely feel like I can build friendships with writers and readers and I look forward to doing that over time. I’ve seen so many great pieces already and always look forward to new things from my favorite follows. I hope that if you’ve gotten this far, you’ve thought about “following” me so we can hang out more. Thanks for reading! ❤
