This is an enjoyable, straightforward, and perceptive read. As a female college student, I can relate and really tune into what you and the girls you interviewed had to say. I like that the entire essay stays pretty simple with comprehensive transitions between one example to the next and clear connections throughout. Also, you managed to not become repetitive while still being able to get the argument across without losing it at any point. You do need to go back and proof read because there are occasions where there are typos, incorrect grammar, or awkward phrasing. Besides that, this draft seems thorough and I can’t think of anything to add. You could make the video slightly more artistic, but that’s not completely necessary. Overall, you made your multi-modal and social scientific methods clear and relevant. Your conclusion ties everything together to end your essay well.