from MPD: A Party of One

“My third personality is named Bob. He likes to be called ‘Killer’ Bob. He likes this because he likes Twin Peaks, and says he has been a fan of David Lynch since before I knew who he was. He loves that his lack of originality annoys me and that I missed Twin Peaks because of him in the first place. Before 1990, we shared the same name.”

The real problem with interviewing someone with MPD is getting permission from three different people, two of whom exist (whether they accept it or not) to protect the first identity. No. 1 is Rob, the primary. The one everyone “knows.” He represents the injured child, now 38, but vulnerable to a world that uses people. He is a straight, white male who rarely engages with the world outside the controlled environment of the welfare hotel in which he lives.

No. 2 is Bobby. He represents the person who internalized all of the abuse and, in a state of near constant self-loathing, will shoplift, lie compulsively or trade sex for attention, protection, love, goods, and services. He identifies as bisexual and is gender fluid by the terminology of the times. He comes out spontaneously when an opportunity to flirt or rook someone appears. He takes at least one night per month to party on condition that he practices safe sex, is home before dawn, and does no drugs harder than MDMA, weed, & alcohol. Rob deals with moderate hangovers well, but often feels violated.

Bob is No. 3 and while ‘Killer’ is mostly a nickname, he would likely kill anyone he thinks is a genuine threat to them. He calls Rob and Bobby “The Pussy and The Faggot,” “The Pussies,” or “The Faggots” (depending on mood) with occasional modifiers thrown in for free. He is vulgar and a kind of crazy, old man tough that scares reasonable people. Like Bobby, he can into existence to protect Rob from suffering by taking some of the load off. A human being can tolerate a lot of abuse. Fracturing into three different is one way to cope by redistributing the load to whomever could handle it best.