Grace Wang
11 min readDec 14, 2023

What makes reality TV so addicting?

An analysis of the unique appeal and strategies in Netflix’s Love Is Blind (2020).

Netflix’s Love Is Blind (2020): “The Pods”

From Dance Moms to The Bachelor, reality TV has been a guilty pleasure for many around the world over the years. These shows cultivate a dedicated community of weekly watchers, tuning in at the same time each week, and even creating large fan bases such as “Bachelor Nation.” Despite the transition to streaming services like Netflix and Hulu, reality TV shows remain one of the few genres that continue to release episodes traditionally on live television. However, the question remains: what is it about reality TV that is so captivating? There are numerous factors that contribute to the alluring quality of reality TV, including clever editing tactics, the documentary style, the deliberate creation of “villainous” and “protagonist” characters, and the inherent involvement of ordinary people in unconventional situations. While certain aspects of reality TV appear genuine, it is important to acknowledge that a significant portion is carefully and intentionally crafted. Despite the audience’s enjoyment, there are unethical tactics and manipulation at play, impacting real individuals that pose critical questions for reality TV viewers. By examining the behind-the-scenes intricacies of reality TV, particularly Netflix’s unique dating series Love Is Blind, we can gain a better understanding of its irresistible appeal and why audience members grow such a dedicated attachment to it.

Love Is Blind: “The Pods”

Lundy et al.’s paper, Simply Irresistible: Reality TV Consumption Patterns, is a qualitative psychological study that examines the viewing habits and consumption patterns of college students in relation to reality television. The study involved the formation of focus groups to facilitate discussions on reality TV programs, aiming to understand the rationale, perceptions, and social affiliations associated with this genre. The results of the study indicated that participants are drawn to reality TV for its escapism, providing the opportunity to live vicariously through real people in natural settings. The authenticity of featuring ordinary individuals in unconventional situations creates a relatable connection often lost in scripted television with specifically casted actors. The live decision-making and behavioral aspects of reality shows prompt the audience to reflect on how they would react in similar situations. Additionally, reality TV is characterized as fun, drama-filled, and light-hearted, providing a break from daily stress and allowing viewers to unwind. Lundy argues that the interactive nature, where viewers place themselves in the characters’ situations, contributes to its addictive and suspenseful quality.

The study also highlights that participants expressed both positive and negative feelings toward reality TV, raising questions about the morality of reality TV consumption. This controversial aspect of reality TV is a significant factor that creates the “guilt-watching” phenomenon, that keeps viewers coming back each week. Similar to real-life drama, inherently nosy humans find entertainment in being “observers” rather than participants, and this voyeuristic inclination is what makes reality TV so compelling. A notable finding in Lundy’s research highlighted a significant social aspect of reality TV that revealed viewers rarely watched alone. Participants often hosted watch parties and viewed weekly with roommates where they engaged in post-show discussions. Many participants acknowledged that they enjoyed the interaction of social conversation involving the reality program rather than the TV show itself. There was a motivation to watch in the hopes of remaining in “the loop” and not being “left out.”

Love Is Blind (S4): The Reunion

Notably, the romance genre dominates in popularity in the realm of reality TV with Netflix’s Love Is Blind (LIB) standing out prominently due to its unique premise. While most romantic reality TV shows center around the pursuit of love, Love Is Blind utilizes the unorthodox approach of finding love through a “blind” social experiment. The experiment involves men and women who engage in blind dates within isolated “pods” for 10 days sight unseen. If a couple feels a genuine connection or “match,” they may extend a marriage proposal and meet face-to-face only if the marriage proposal is accepted, known as the “The Big Reveal.” Once engaged, the couples move in together until the wedding ceremony, just 4 weeks later. At the altar, participants face the critical decision of saying “I do” or “I don’t.” Typically about a year after filming, a reunion episode is filmed where viewers get to see the status of the married or split couples. The experiment aims to show that falling in love with someone solely for their personality is possible and aims to answer the question: Is love blind? Although this concept is seemingly absurd, the show remained one of Netflix’s top-streamed shows and has produced a few successful couples that remain together to this day. The popularity and high viewership can be attributed to behind-the-scenes and filming strategies that create a compelling story for viewers.

Love Is Blind (S4): The Altar

Similar to other reality shows, Love Is Blind adheres to a set of “general rules” that prioritize drama, even at the expense of the cast. The most common goal of reality TV is to provide maximum entertainment to maintain high engagement, as reality TV thrives on viewer interest. Love Is Blind follows a documentary film style, capturing natural conversations and situations in real-time, complemented by confessional interviews where participants share their “current” thoughts and feelings. Additionally, musical scores are strategically placed to heighten the emotional impact, such as using a dramatic violin for tense scenes and more expressive tunes for pivotal, emotional moments. These naturally filmed clips in contrast with the “artificial” nature of the confessionals add to the present feeling of the “characters.”

In addition to the documentary style, producers and editors display a strong obsession with shaping “the narrative.” Producers and editors strategically manipulate scenes by rearranging footage and sound bites to heighten drama, in order to fit the desired narrative. These strategies are particularly used when creating “The Villain” edit, where words are taken out of context to portray a character more negatively than they are in reality. The concept of “The Villain” is another crucial element in reality television that is present in most forms of film and media. The antagonist generates conflict in the narrative, which fosters audience engagement and upheaval in “forcing” viewers to choose between the two “sides.” Furthermore, entire storylines and couples have been edited out of the show, even after reaching the altar. If the couples or storylines clash with the narrative or lack interest to the producers, they won’t hesitate to omit an entire storyline, leaving viewers with numerous unanswered questions.

A notable example is Renee Poche from season 5, who shared her “lost” experience on the podcast “Out of the Pods,” hosted by previous LIB contestants Natalie and Deepti. In this episode, The Lost Stories of Love is Blind: Season 5’s Renee Poche, Renne details her untold story and her journey from engagement to the altar. Renee revealed the lack of support provided by the producers when she felt unsafe around her fiancé, only for her story to be completely edited out. This exemplifies how the power lies in the hands of the producers. Despite the “real” nature of TV footage, producers carefully select scenes to construct their version of the story.

“Out of the Pods” Podcast: Renee Poche shares her lost story.

In addition, Love Is Blind has faced a plethora of allegations, shedding light on the unethical practices that occur behind-the-scenes (BTS). There are numerous news reports currently circulating regarding LIB, ranging from the lack of counseling/therapy to prioritizing drama over safety. Many former LIB participants have spoken out against the production company, Defy Media, which owns the show, resulting in several lawsuits over allegations of unethical living conditions and sexual assault. Furthermore, there are rumors that LIB uses alcohol to generate more drama out of their contestants. These allegations and revelations of these unethical tactics raise serious questions regarding the ethics of reality TV consumption and emphasize the importance of understanding what transpires behind the scenes.

To reemphasize, LIB is a show that captures ordinary individuals experiencing authentic moments that affect them post-filming. LIB delves into discussions of finances, family approval, and even interracial relationships, which are incredibly relatable topics that further engage viewers. Many parts of LIB and other reality programs showcase very emotionally raw and real moments that showcase human flaws and give a very visual example of relationship behaviors.

Finally, the large online community of fans plays an essential role in maintaining the popularity of LIB. Following a newly released episode, funny clips and memes flood Twitter. While many are good-natured and playful, some lean into online bullying and cancel culture, especially targeting the prominent villains of each season. This interactive quality, combined with post-viewing discussions, creates an almost “addictive” allure to the show, pulling the viewers back each week. Therefore, it is crucial to keep in mind that the “reality” content we consume is highly edited and should not be taken at face value. It is necessary to acknowledge the diverse perspectives among the participants, producers, and viewers, as well as the selectivity in content presentation. Though entertaining, the rise of cancel culture in this generation of media often leans to extremes. Viewers should approach watching reality programs with empathy and lightheartedness, avoiding taking everything too seriously, as there is always another side to each story.

Argument in Love Is Blind (S1)

Growing up, I naturally watched more subtle reality TV through shows like America’s Got Talent and Masterchef, which I casually watched and unexpectedly found myself hooked on. These shows are now a weekly guilty pleasure shared with friends as a social activity. We now engage in lively discussions, speculating the upcoming episodes and pondering how we would navigate the challenges faced by the participants.

Additionally, I had the unique opportunity to be “on-set” for the popular reality show: Dance Moms. As a former competitive dancer, my dance studio was invited to the last “competition” with the original cast of the Abby Lee Dance Company (ALDC). Despite my admiration for the girls’ talent, I was surprised to discover that a significant portion of the drama and tension were more staged than anticipated. Unlike typical dance competitions involving around 30 studios, the Dance Moms “competition” featured only three: the ALDC, my studio, and another invited one. The orchestrated competition highly favored the ALDC, with only two other competitors, undermining the perceived fairness of the competitions in the previous seasons I had watched. Furthermore, the producers orchestrated the audience to sit in one area to create the illusion of a large audience and even recorded timed clapping for filming. Even witnessing the backstage dynamics was incredibly eye-opening, as I recall observing the girls sharing a heartfelt hug backstage with multiple cameras following them. However, when the cameras stopped filming, there was an immediate shift back to normalcy, indicating that much of the emotions seen from the show were much more acted up than one might assume. From my personal experience, I learned to take everything I see on reality TV with a grain of salt.

My Dance Moms experience, featuring my studio in blue!

Another significant aspect of Love Is Blind revolves around the psychological elements of both watching and participating in the show. LIB introduces various psychological effects that accelerate the ability for contestants to fall in love, such as a limited number of potential partners, a stressful environment, and the urgency to get engaged within a specific timeframe. In the article, “Are Netflix’s Love Is Blind contestants REALLY in love?” psychologist Linzi Kavanagh emphasizes the artificial environment of “the pods” that lacks external distractions and real-life pressures. Kavanagh explains that contestants often “fall in love” without truly knowing their potential partner’s compatibility and typical behavior in challenging situations.

Furthermore, the inability to see one another during the initial “pod” stages fosters more open conversations, facilitating the formation of one-on-one connections. The absence of visual contact creates preconceived and involuntary perceptions. This can result in imagining their appearance and constructing an “idealized” version, leading to a level of attraction before meeting. This process often results in somewhat elevated expectations that lead to conflict once contestants are face-to-face. Although participants may experience emotional connections and claim to “fall in love,” the reality remains that a certain level of physical attraction is necessary for maintaining a successful and healthy relationship.

Moreover, the article, “Between MAFS & Love Is Blind, Are We All Turning Into Armchair Psychologists?” by Pema Bakshi explores the complications of armchair psychology when viewing reality programs. Bashki describes armchair psychology as the tendency for laypeople to diagnose and label others despite being professionally unqualified. Viewers often analyze interpersonal dynamics on TV, engaging in armchair psychology by scrutinizing the behavior of cast members. This tendency to label and diagnose individuals on screen is a form of entertainment and may provide a sense of reassurance about the viewers’ own situations. However, it is crucial to be aware of the potential harm in misdiagnosing behaviors on screen as mental disorders. Misinterpretating brief moments can lead to inaccurate diagnoses that significantly impact the well-being of the individuals involved. Furthermore, this tendency contributes to the negative stigma associated with mental disorders, ultimately undermining the importance of seeking professional help. On the contrary, viewing arguments on screen between ordinary, everyday people resonates with us as viewers and can even alleviate our traumas. There is an opportunity for self-reflection that comes with watching non-actors that potentially provide valuable insight and allow for self-learning and growth.

In conclusion, Love Is Blind is a particularly unique show, drawing high engagement for several reasons. The program operates as a psychological social experiment, setting it apart from other reality programs. Its experimental nature, notably the “in the pod” portion provides a distinctive viewing experience. Furthermore, unlike reality shows that often cast specific types of people like The Bachelor, LIB features ordinary individuals fostering a more natural connection with the audience. Finally, the most notable aspect of the show is the three major cliffhanging moments — the proposal, the reveal, and the “I do”— that generate continuous anticipation and engagement, a quality that is lacking in other reality programs. Viewers must keep in mind that reality TV showcases real people in selectively presented moments, so consuming reality content with a lighthearted perspective is essential. While insightful, watching these shows is ultimately meant to be enjoyable and there are many underlying messages and valuable lessons from watching these shows that viewers may implement into their everyday lives.